Christmas time :)

it was perfect I don't think I could have asked for more honestly. Except maybe my dad to behome but other then that it was perfect! Christmas this year was one of the best on the record books!! There was tons of food, desserts, and presents for everyone. I think everyone got everything they wanted and some!!!! It wasn't just about the presents ( although I was a bit spoiled at times) I just loved being home!!!
My mom had the best day ever!! It was soo nice to see her calm and enjoying herself. There was no alcohol so no fights were involved life was good. Almost too good. 2009 has been a year of amazing beginings and i know 2010 is going to keep the ball rolling for greatness!!

I love my baby brother who is not a baby while he towers over me!! But he worked soo hard and go everyone things they would really adore. MY mom's pants feel down at the sight of her D&G watch!
In the past were tears of sadness and pain of watching these events. As everyone argued and was drinking and it was a mess. Now the tears are of happiness that we all love being around each other. Its almost a little too perfect! hahaha you would think it was scripted but we are just making up for the last couple rough ones. I wouldn't say i want to wait 4 years for another fabulous one but if waiting 4 years makes it this perfect it was worth the wait!

when something happens that is drug up from the past you have been avoiding is it god giving you a precious gift to live happily ever after or is the devil testing to see if you can really hold out????

Why are the challenges at times do sneaky??? Like the answer is right in front of your face.. Or is it??? is this a test to see if you can continue avoiding it or is it finally time for you to settle the past and move forward????
UGHHH how do you decipher the two???

This are good! things are great! Im just enjoying my last few days at 24 and smiling since I'm soo lucky with where I am in my life. both physically, emotionally and spiritually !!

red carpet!

WHOA! I had such a great weekend! I really truly am the most blessed lil person on earth!! I have had some amazing opportunities to meet and greet great people and really live a fullfilling life! Not to mentioned it is packed with great inspiring people.

I had such a fullfilling visit with Tish in town. We had great food, fabulous lil drinks and some meaningful spiritual awakenings. She is great and she invited me into her world! I am one step closer to latina now hahaha! But I met some of her amazing co-workers and once again I am humbled and reminded of how amazing humans can be! I mean these were seasoned vets in the game of life the industry and this damn NYC!

I ate great food out and watched Prince Royce get the opportinity to shoot his video right where John Lennon got shot in Central Park! (crazy I visited the Lennon museum earlier this year with Kea! After not really being in-touch with John and his intense life) It was amazing to watch a new artist create his career where one of the greats ended his! IMAGINE WOW!

Tish and I tore up the dance floor in our 3 striped kicks and tees on! Oh the saturday night heel game :( i missed out but this made it easier to practice my dancing! Just over all it was great to have nice conversation with great people. I wish all of them the best in this new adventure they are embarking on! I know they will make it.

And well it falls inline with my goals of discovering another world!

wish list

Both shoes affordable by steve madden upper is on sale for 90$ lower on sale for $60
Stella for adidas $125 super cute very necessary
alexander mcqueen clutch retails $1600 I LOVE IT!!! amazingggg NEED IT!!!

No more PUMA the door i wanted open so bad swung shut pretty fast! it's all good though going back to where I know the grass is green cause it's turf LOL but I like it over there. Going back home to were I belong!! Passionate, inspiring, honest, innovative all of it i want it all!! The no commute to work, the live and work and play in NYC!! I've finally got it all. AHHH it's great to be blessed and thankful. I'm ready for the challenge excited for the opportunity and focused on my future!

Miami in a few more days!!! YANKEE"S WON THEY WON THE WORLD SERIES PARADE TOMORROW!!!

yankee fever

This series has been gt=reat another fabulous part of my first year in NYC!! I mean it can't get anybetter... Since I have arrived I've been to fashion week, the yankees hit the series, JAY z drops and album the giants are well gonna work harder and I've been just enjoying everything the city has to offer. Especially my baby daddy JETER and the other one A ROD!! aooowww Can't wait till the Yankees win TOMORROW HERE AT HOME!!!

saying thanks!!!

Sometimes we forget how blessed and strong we all are! Sometimes we have these slip ups these moments where we feel defeated of that we are moving backwards. Every now and again I myself feel like I am slipping off the edge of things. Whether it is me feeling a lil down about work or missing my friends and my old life style, some times I wanna go back and drink the "juice" that I should be allergic too since he is no good for me. I seem to always wind up on top shortly after these brief moments of discontentment. Then it seems like I am popped right back into my fairytale life all over again!

I GOT THE JOB!!! I will be back @ adidas very soon I can't wait it took 4 interviews and over a month for the process to go through but I am finally getting what I KNOW I WANT! I know I have been up and down with this but with a lil help from my fairy go-mother Miss Manning I am BACK!

Saturday I get to sneak away for a week in my old life before I start at the adi soho store. I just am so blessed to have so many positive people on my team. Everyone's prayers and support really made this possible. I sometimes forget how many people are on my home team. Danny and E fought so hard to get me this job. Marla never stopped hounding Danny about it and well I'm in. I have A LOT to live up too and I can do it. crazy that adidas is really soo much more then just some retail job and I know a handful of people who understand the magic!

As for falling back into a friendship with Juice not happening anytime soon. Everytime i think we can be friends we can't! He's not ready to be an adult and I'm not ready to allow someone to bring me down again!

gaga!!!

I am way too into miss gaga for my own good! I just adore her crazy ass but this weekend was a wonderful time of good family and friends! the house was packed ! Halloween was different this year. Marlas Birthday falls on the 31st Kea flew up and the kids all came over to help her celebrate the big 23!! We went to one of her ROAR aka gay girlie parties. It was interesting to say the least! I've been to some of theses parties before to show some support to her life style but next year not so sure thats how i wanna spend hollows eve! Our costumes were cute and we had fun supporting her in her event non the less!

BUT PARTY TIME STARTS SATURDAY!!!!! MIAMI HERE I COME!!

im in NEW YORKKKKK

The Yankees are WORLD SERIES BOUND TOMORROW!!!

My boo Ms. Alicia Keys will be preforming with front man Jay-Z tomorrow night before the All Star Yankee line up of fine assed Pin Strip wearing men take the diamond. AHHH I do really enjoy sports and well tomorrow is gonna be a good good game!

I love the Yankees not just because of the reasons listed above but I can share it with my dad. There were not many things previous to the bronx bombers my father and i chatted about. Now dad and I share a call after and before every game. I sometimes can hear the annoying static of his am radio when we were kids and he forced us to listen. For years I hated it now I LOVE IT!!
LETS GO YANKS!

check check & check

My new goals that I have listed out on paper are being more closely pursued! The update goes as follows

Started a new book,
quit PUMA,
am in the process of planning my get away trip for the next 2 weeks in either Puerto Rico or Miami maybe even both
Got a a loan payment program for 1 loans... working on the rest
got on a payment plan for 1 credit debt.... working on the rest
apologized to my mom for screaming at her
continued to reach out to people when I need help without fear of rejection
attempted to make a new friend.. didn't work on to the next one!


hummm looks like I am finally on a path to getting my life together! Still a few more things to get through but this is week #2 and a good start

miami, puerto rico, chicago, milford,

I want to run to hide under a rock.. I want to hibernate like a bear for the winter somewhere no one can find me. But when I return I want everything to be moving forward and all issues having disappeared. I just need time to stand still for just a moment! I need to stop and think uninterrupted and have time to manage my concerns!!! Its moving so quickly everything around me. The ideas in my head flow faster and faster then my actions are actually occurring. I get days off and there aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish some of my tasks let along all!
Time please please slow down I need you too..... I need to gather my thoughts and not feel like your quicksand sucking me in. I am on the right path leading to the road and eventually the succesfull highway. The path has been hard to make out at time and I can finally see the ground and know what direction. BUT i need a moment to read my map again!! I would like a small escape somewhere. I just am not sure where to go

whos in your corner??

Angie has said this in the past but it seems to be sweeping the ears of those close around us.
hang out with 9 broke people be the 10! hang out with 9 rich people be the 10th! I like to change Rich to successful so that it isn't confused that money creates your value. I really have had this all around me in my head, my ears and even in my face as she posted it. The responses that she got were great for the most part!

I have taken it, thought and really started to evaluate my corner. Its hard for me to narrow to just 9 people in my corner that are successful as I am blessed to have so many people around me making moves. I just need to continue to empower myself and those around me. I have finished my leadership book Monday morning leadership and have complied new goals.

I have written my goals down on paper with a pen! When you write them you follow them. I have also given myself a time-line with each goal. I did reserve some rooms for dreams. Goals start with dreams so I can't give up on those. I have been continually challenging change and moving forward! I'm not stopping either, when all of these goals are check check checked NEXT!!! Its easy to be so positive when I have 9 successful people around me!

courage

please let me wake up tomorrow and have the courage to let go an move forward. Please give me the strength to believe in what I need to happen whole-heartedly. I need to take a leap of faith with my forward movement at work. I can and will believe in a positive outcome for this. I will not be scared or nervous. I will walk in and put it all on the table.

please send me too!!!

Of course I would like to meet Oprah and go to the show I mean who wouldn't. I would love to chat with her about the things that people my age struggle with. or what REALLY happens in college, drugs sex and studies. But I'll get on Oprahs couch soon enough I know I will

Please send me to Rachael RAY!!!! My cooking is getting great I need new ideas and I wanna see how she does it!!!! SEND ME TO HERRRRR

Ellen is soo freaking hillarious and she gives the best prizes ever!!! I just watched half an episode she gave away.. 2 $500 gift cards.... 3 Wiis... Boston Redsox playoff tickets.... bop its and a hole bunch of lil prizes SEND ME SEND ME!!!

cook book for life

You know one with the reciepes telling you exactly what to do.. Its crazy though the reciepies you create yourself tend to be the best.

I have to say I am extremely blessed in every way possible. However I can't seem to find a damn job that I am comfortable with in all aspects. WTF!! The most recent melo drama is that now that i have no car it takes me 2.5 hours to get to work almost 3!!! i ride the subway for 15-20 mins then the train for 1 hour roughly before the 1.5 hour bus ride. I have to say that leaving when its dark our side and returning while its dark outside is a real drag!! Commuting in any form just isn't for me. I LIVE IN NEW YORK FUCKING CITY!! why am i commuting anywhere???? I'm still awaiting this job transfer with PUMA that they haven't granted me yet. Due to the fact my manager doesn't wanna loose me. He's clueless or acts clueless that he is about to loose me to another company all together. I pray I hear back good news tomorrow from them because my two weeks are flying in on Columbus day with or without another job lined up!
I'm gonna jump take the chance and believe whole hearted that I can and will get another job quickly!

city exploration

What a wonderful weekend soo far! Its saturday night I'm not really trying to hit the streets I was in them all day today!! keas still here for a few more days :( I've really enjoyed her being here the last month we have all been enjoying her company.
last night we went to some strange house party. Everyone was really nice wasn't really my scene but none the less I enjoyed my time. Today I decided not to go to work and then we took off in the rain to a few art installations. In between the exhibits we stopped in China town for a 30 minute $20 massage. AMAZING!!!! Since my accident the other day my back has been in need of some love and this lil asian woman worked magic! It was the best 20 bucks spent. Followed by Korean lunch was another enjoyable china town experience
Korean rice noodles were delectable with shredded beef. Kea had a spicy ramon soup yum! I has not realized how much I enjoy asian food sushi, noodles, soup rice keep it coming! Of course I love anything with carbs involved. I suppose I had better not be lazy and get my butt in gear to go explore the lower east side. SUMMER is over :( and well Fall is mighty chilly so far :( that means winter is right around the corner eeekkkkk

hardships

It's no secret that when your down it seems like everything just keeps getting piled on! Sometimes we feel like we have no outlet its bad news followed by bad news.... I personally try to stay positive through my trying and difficult times, yet its a challenge. The questions what if? and why? always seem to remain in my mind when things aren't on "my course". They also say that god will never let anything happen to you that you can not handle. These challenges we incur come at us from all ends.

Although there are times when I feel emotionally and physically drained as though I am defeated by the ocurrance, I keep trucking. I've listed over the last few months goals and ideals for my life. I've been checking them off as they become completed. Other things I wash to the back burner as they seem unattainable. Or at least for the moment! There are few things that I have really GIVEN UP ON in my time. I have surrounded myself with positive people that have given me pushes forward in ways they don't see. I have spent the past few months in New York revisiting old ideas and discovering new journeys. There are times I think What if I was still in Miami? What if i didn't have a car payment or a college loan payment?

I'm learning to take the what ifs and given them an answer. I'm striving to stay on top of my downward turns and make the sour moments lemonade instead of a heart-breaking set-back. It's easy for me to feel like this when it seems things always turn out in my favor. I ask myself again WHY? why is this working out? well.. its because I want it! I deserve it! I'm working towards it! god gave me that challenge as a test to see where I would push myself next! Well world I'm not done yet! Things can only go UP from here! and I can only better myself and the people around me!

As I celebrate my small victory of the morning I must remember not to get ahead of myself! That new challenge will lay ahead and I must stay prepared and focused for when it comes my way. But no matter the out come no matter the hardship of it I'll still find a moment to smile and see the good inside the problem. I PROMISE and Promise me YOU will do the same!

anticipation

It was long over due and the suspense was tearing me up inside It had been so long since I had seen my mom and my whole family together in fact it has been about 2 years since we last sat down together. It was breaking me down inside all I wanted was the fairy book family. DING DING DING I finally got it i packed up left the 305 and 7 months later we ALL got together for dinner. My mother father brother and step father along with my bros gf and my bff Lyndsay. HOLY SHIT we didn't argue once!! It was my moms dream come true :) it makes me all warm inside knowing she got what she always wanted. Sucks that it took the circumstances it took but we have it all together now and I love it.
Moving to NYC was a great decision for me and my family. Growing up has its perks I'll always be my mommy's lil girl and my brother will always be my lil baby bro my little rotten apple! I love him and I can't believe how much he's grown up!! I'm all smiles :) :) :)

lots of thoughts tonight

There is A LOT going on right now but at the same time not too much!

The womans group went great I love that we are going to be involved... hanging out with Irira more has def been very motivating to me and she probably does not even realize it!

Kea is still here and Im loving having her around getting our minds opened to each others worlds is always a blast and she def pushes me to think deeper and to stay creative. We skated I feel like the past 3 days i've lived on a board its fun.

adidas dreams are coming closer to a reality then just a thought so stay tuned for news on that.

I have not furthered my search on becoming a radio personality or opening my jamba juice BUT I am still focused on my spanish lessons and getting back to school. Getting to adidas is going to be the first mission. cause then I'll be in NYC for work and play and really really enjoy this chapter

katie

Yes Katie family sunday today was a blast. Went and partied it up with my Panamanian family for good food great laughs and well no football :( the TV was hidden in the kids room I snuck away for a few views of the Giants game. I woke up this morning wishing I was getting dressed to go to PRIME! Or even the Ale Hizzy to see Heather.

Sundays I really miss Miami and watching football with you guys but I do love New York and I love all the NEW things we are all getting involved in. I love our chats and catching up with you ladies and gents. I do want to visit you guys again shortly as I am in need of sun wet willies and lots of hugs!!!

almost forgot these

Taxi cabs just cruising past

Living close to the seaport is great in the summer time!

my NYC discoveries

Yankee stadium amazing
Strange area of Stuffed animals in Williamsburg... this is a kids worst nightware
9-11 the twin tower lights were shinning we walked over to discover the lights were on a building and shining all the way to heaven!
The Ikea fairy is free and the view is amazing
during a hair apt. read up on my fashion and during in interview with COCO she commented on wanting to collaborate with adidas!! aoooww my 2 loves street fashion and high fashion!!
The Brooklyn Bridge Park had a great view of my apt and was so relaxing the light house ice cream was really good too!

still so many more areas to visit for my NYC chapter

loving life right now :) my miami friends are here the weather is great and ahhhhhhh hopefully soon i will be back at the 3 stripes and not in nj!!! life is sweet!!!! MTV awards

Kanye = a DICK
Taylor swift you go girl
Beyonce = a lady

lady gaga is nuts love her

Jay Z and Alicia LOVE LOVE LOVE THEM

from his 9-11 concert to this Jay does run this town

patience

I do not like to wait for anything!! I have always known patience is an important quality to have but I really have none. I get easily aggravated and easy discouraged at times. The computer moves to slow, traffic the lines at Jamba Juice and now hearing back from the 3 strips! I waited a year to see my mom and these next 2 weeks can't move quick enough to just hug her!

I think its more my laziness that gets in the way of my successes sometimes. And maybe I'm scared to really challenge Change. I hold on to the past with boys and friends. I am learning to dive into the deep end and learn to swim when I'm in already. I have always been the kind to walk from the shallow end. AHHHH JUMP!!! JUST LEAP !!

my lost watch

soo as no one knows i lost my favorite invicta watch in queens on the beach! it made me cry literally it was one of my favorite gifts ever that meant the world to me that i love soooo much!! and its gone and i can't find another one so this one is going to have to due its my second love from micheal kors my other lover!! there is only 1 left at Macys I NEED IT

my girls

LOVE these bitches and they are so freaking funny!!!! Why did they go to Miami when i left :(

SEPTEMBER AHHHHH

OMG!! This month is JAM PACKED!! too much to do so little time... I suppose it feels good as I have been still searching for my NYC niche!! Tish comes Wed Kea comes the following wed then Kelliy comes and MY MOMMY COMES HOME!!!!! I can't wait I miss her soo much I am soe xcited I have been awaiting Sept 18th for 9 months!! wooohooo its almost here!!!

I'm still job searching looking for my perfect situation and in the mean time staying a hard working ray of sunshine at PUMA! Until the other brother offers me a job wink wink!!

I am not into the 64 degree weather today!! I WANT SUNSHINE!!

friends?? amigos????

HUmmm so last night I had a wonderful time! I met up with Andrew who is my friend but not close friend. He invited me to dinner I assumed with his homies. Well upon my arrival it was with his folks!!! ekkkk lucky for me I am mommy proof and dinner was great.
So mommy proof she invited nad insisted I go back to the house. I did and was it the best move EVER!! Her husband and her have a garden and sent this poor princess home with some much needed fresh fruits and veggies. Served me this amazing Dulce de leche and the best damn green peach mint flavored organic homemade tea I have ever drank!!! damn it was soo good, Snapple should buy the recipe. it was really a great evening we had a lot of fun and it was soo random.
It really made me miss my mom of course but I'm going to see her sooo soon I can feel her hugging me and squeezing me already!! ahhhhh I can't wait.

But friends pop out of the strangest places for me. I miss my Miami people so its always nice to have a visitor from the 305!!!

back at teh drawing board

This whole waking up to dreams and magical feelings while we are parading around in our twenties is exciting, exhausting and a wake up call. I'm so proud of my friends whos wildest dreams are becoming careers and goals reached. From celebrity chefs, business owners soon to be musical sensations and well perfect moms! I'm soo proud of everyone.

My dreams are still alive and kicking too sometimes i have to pinch myself wake up and come back to reality. I need often to stop floating on my cloud and come down. There are so many things I have wanted to do but like Drake said over all I wanna just be successful.

Radio personality
president to the USA ( since I was in 4th grade my dream ha)
Marketing Director for Ralph Lauren
Own a Jamba Juice
Open a Skate Park
just live on an island as a local
Shoe model ( keep the shoes!!)
teacher for the inner city schools
soccer mom
event Coordinator
BARTENDER AGAIN!!! $$$$$$

ahhh soo many dreams soo much time to try it all. I'm sure I will check a few off my list soon for now I am rewriting the Resume and finding away back to NYC enough of the Jersey commute. Come on PUMA gimmie a transfer so I don't just pounce away!!!!

hummmm hummmm philly was dope... work is whatever still and I am so into this tattoo idea lately hummm hummm its totally not me!!! maybe i'll just change my hair color I can't get a tattoo my parents would never be cool with it! ha ha

tgif

AHHH good old Friday last day of the work week for me this week1 Already ready for it to be 930 PM at work!!! Any who its an amazing NYC morning I love in the morning the cool breeze over looking the east river and seeing the cars hustle and bustle down the Bridge and the FDR!

Summer is a beautiful time I think I loved Miami so much because of the ever lasting sunshine. BUT I'm not thinking about winter yet!!! Enjoying the day hoping everyone around me is as well

the job search is still on tonight Money had some suggestions that are being taken into some serious consideration!!! If anyone else out there in the world has any please send them to me anyway possible text, call blog, smoke signal, prayer message in a bottle. I'll take the suggestions!!! In the mean time my ass needs to stay positive in the red cat house because that's the bread and butter the future at the moment!!!

The big picture

WOW! finally Money and i fixed the friend situation after seriously 2 months. its insane how 2 people look at the picture completely different and are best friends. But that's what makes us best friends. I adore her and her open minded thought process and I hope that she loves my honesty. We discussed it all the whole email our friendship. its all on the table now. Nothing in the dark I put it all out there ( of course i cried Imma sap) it just felt amazing to hug her and know everything is better.
It was breaking my heart to feel that she felt negative anything about our friendship. Good communication and and open mind can go along way. No one had to say I'm sorry we both spoke our piece and understood the other one. I don't wanna go through this with her or anyone ever again. i value my friendships with all of them. It hurt terribly and now the wound is mended. no More torture in thinking what she is thinking. No more pain in not calling my bff to tell her about my day! ahhh the good life!!!

its crazy how you can see the same situation so intensely different!!! It feels good to have the universe back in line!

you the best you the fukn best!!! ahhh feeling on top of the world today! I love living in NYC!!! Keas coming for a week shes bringing Sharon along for a few days! We are about to get it in woooohoooo and maybe I'll go get my job back at adidas cause I dunno how I'm feelin about this PUMA thing!! I know I wanted it really bad but like many things they aren't always what they seem to be!!

im sleepy going to bed lunch packed for tomorrow ready to take on the world!!!!

karma

its a bitch!!! and I hate people taking advantage of a good thing or not appreciating their friendships! This bitch ass that lives with us better come get his shit outta my apt!!! Cause I do not want to see my roomie upset that his friend is a scumbag user! How are you just gonna have your stuff somewhere that you never come to and never care about. Your so lucky those Louie glasses aren't here cause they would be MINE!

Why would you piss where you sleep. Pollo goes above and beyond for EVERY SINGLE person he meets and this kid is his "best friend" treating him like this. Do people have no shame these days?? Does your mother know you treat people like this??? I'm disgusted for my roomie :( I'm not telling Angie either cause he's not ready for her side to meet his side sooo sad people aren't good friends these days!!!

The Puma way says that change is a challenge and that we should accept the challenge of change! words I have been striving lately to live by and well they put it together perfectly!

involved

I am actively going to be part of Iraria setting up her new women's group
I am looking for a Spanish class to take
I am still exploring new options for my future as far as schooling
Sallie Mae and I are going to be back on track after tomorrow
I miss my Mommy a great deal and can't wait to hug her
Racheal Ray & I have a new found love affair my cooking has stepped its game up
Today I didn't get tan at the beach :(
Victor was right I do be feelin myself and I am not gonna stop!!
While at work I am going to continue to strive to be the best!!!
Kea is coming up and I am really looking forward to a month of exploration and new discoveries of the north east!!!
Money still hasn't called and shes been in NJ for 3 days :(
I am anxiously awaiting the video from T La C
I'm gonna start working out again

blonde

Kourtney is my favorite but I am LOVING KIMS BLONDE!!!! I am feeling a little daring. Kea of course pointed out to me why is it that when we are challanged to change our hair is the first to suffer? Reggie broke her heart she changed her look.... I do the same I am not fearless however last month mine was long and black this month I am chopped up with Bangs and exploring for a new color. Change is not something I am good at but as time passes it becomes easier to change hair color, cities, jobs friends and change the way people treat me! I am an advocate for change and I demand respect for everyone from everyone starting with myself! So whether it is some fabulous rich socialite dealing with change , a chesse loving princess or one of my stunning ladies I want everyone to step to changing more then just their hair color but how they are respected by those in their air!

the friends

Well last week was awesome!!! I absolutely had a rocking good time with Max and his Friend Chad Terika too!! The 3 of them were NYC virgins!!! It was the nuttiest thing they didn't know anything!!! It was delightful to watch them in pure amazement at the building sizes, the lights, the traffic, how people are crawling everywhere like roaches! They really were taken back by the experience. We dinned we walked we ate we drank and we saw the sights! Steak dinners cocktails chillin on the block. My favorite stop was finally eating at Rice to Riches from Sex & the City!! I especially just loved the hugs.... The hugs kept going when Tish & Stevie came along in Union Square park!

They are NyC veterans from other cities it was nice to hug them and learn about their experiences with the City. Shes a big place this city and lots of people manage to have such similar engagements here. Stevie was informative about a few places to visit. he also shared that he too had similar issues meeting people. It was overall just refreshing to see their smiling in love faces.

Joey T stopped in from Cali we had a rooftop encounter took a few quick pictures hugged it out and off we went. Seeing familiar faces in your new home is a great feeling. I'm so proud of everyone and their movements. From opening companies to staring in music videos or moving across country to pursue a dream. often times we forget to stop smell the roses and remind people how special they are! They certainly all made me feel like the most luck girl in nyc

monday

what a helss of a great weekend will report soon about the fabulous NYC things we did!!! For now I know this is the FRESH start to a FRESH week and a FRESH positive move forward!!! The sun is shinning I'm NOT running late and well the magic is in the air!!!

Ralph Lauren

In watching the news today I discovered that Ralph Lauren was profitable this quarter!!! What does that mean you ask. Perhaps that was my sign to follow my previous dreams as a 15 year old and work as a buyer for Ralphie Baby!!!! THEY ARE HIRING!!! Now if I can find an in to the company that would be great!!! Time to put my head forward and start discovering what the next step is!!!!!

I don't think Eirlean is gonna bail me outta this one

please help

my school loans are coming in from all directions!!! I really took out that much money for the degree i don't use???? OMG!! I am sufficating in debt over that "education" i recieved and now i got a letter from another company I did not even know I owed :( i'm really freaking out over this... How in the world do they want me to pay all of this off and still eat????

Obama if your out there CALL ME!!! I need your help

I am so serious this is out of control !!! ahhhhh I want to go back to school and I will never ever be done paying for the first round ! I can't even afford to file an application :(

I'm still smiling though At least i have a degree

tat tat tat it up

I'm not one for tattoos i express this all the time!! I have yet to find anything that means enough to me to be placed on my blank canvas for life.... however lately I have been falling in love with some interestingly placed tats and I might just be considering.... lets not get to excited though i don't think I am wild enough for this Thats RIGHT I"M NOT WILD!!!!

NYC update!!

The city life ahhhhhh!!!!

So the apt is coming along the 3rd roomie is moving out tomorrow so that means a bigger room for me YEA!! Honestly work is kicking my ass who the hell would have thought that working a retail job would be so demanding!!!??? I have to say I am still searching for something that is more fulfilling but this for now is keeping gas in my car, food on my table and nourishing the part of me that stays humble and grateful to be employed in this world! ( yeah yeah i like run on sentences!!) looking forward to this weekend a ton of people will be in NYC this weekend and I need a good visit from my Miami homies. Hopefully they bring all that warm sun shinny weather!! Can't wait for Thursday to be off and just wear my new cowboy boots!!! going to be smiling because I am in charge of my life and safely tucked in my Manhattan apartment living the dream!!

first time for everything

Please give me the strength to keep moving forward... please guide me through my insecurities and keep me humble.... As time passes and confusion continues don't stop with the signs the little ones the luminous ones.. the confusing or the straight forward...... Change is a challenge one that is not easy and comes from deep within sometimes. Continue to remind me I can do it and I am whatever I create for myself..... although the road to here as been quick with sharp turns I haven't fallen off the path!! I may have been sidetracked but I keep pushing forward and discovering inspiration through many outlets. I will not give up I promise.... I will use my resources, my courage and my surroundings to achieve more then I thought possible.... Please just help me to discover the next step as I am the utmost grateful for what I have received till now I will show my gratitude by striving for more!!!

I love FABULOUS!!! I needdddd to get the album that dropped today

the weekend continued

Monday made a three day weekend for me and it also marked yet another memorable day for me. Randomly explored NYC with Joseph and Ozzy it was sooo fun!! We did random touristy stuff and just went to different Steve Maddens in which I got a pair I was in love with for only $19.99 they were originally $130!!!! wooohooooo

We went to pollos job racked up on some belts then hit it over to M&M world. That place is like an amusement park and OMG they don't get mad if you eat the M&Ms!!! Then we hit it over to the biggest toy store in the world!!! The evening ended with dinner at my house cooked by yours truly!

We had pasta its fast and cheap but it was extra tasty!!!

How did I ever get soo lucky to enjoy such an amazing weekend. & as for my hang time with Juice it was like old times old old times. Before the butterflies flew into my stomach, before the smile sent chills down my back. It was great it really was

Six Flags fun

Yesterday was awesome!!! I went to Six Flags with the guy I've been dating and we had a blast!! I have no say we were really both leaning away from each other and haven't hung out in a hot minute. So initially when we were still going to six flags together I thought it was gonna be wack. BUT! I had an awesome time with him! We rode the rides, played the games we ate we talked it was all and all a great day! I was a fat ass though all i wanted to do was eat and eat! Quiznos after the park ( his idea my favorite spot) was the perfect ending to a perfect day!

Now I'm sore from my Run and the millions of miles we walked yesterday and today is YANKEE DAY!!!

My dad my Bro & his chick are all going to the YANKEE GAME!! I can't wait they should be here in an hour!! wooohoooo Today is gonna be great!

I've been loving this weekend

Friday night

Update Friday night was rough!! I dunno what the hell came over me but i was feeling a bit emotional ( as per usual these days)!! I got home from work and I just grabbed Pollos I pod and started running!! Its been a long time since I ran! i was like Forrest I couldn't stop. In fact I ran to Brooklyn and back!!! I finally made it over the Brooklyn Bridge. I did it all by myself too!! I stopped to enjoy the bridge and read some of the literature. Come to find out the man that originally started the bridge died and his son took over the project. Then when he became ill and could no longer visit the site HIS WIFE finished the project!! ( Strong women in 1887!! That's what i like to hear)

Running the bridge at 11 pm in a frenzy of anger and confusion was just what I needed to do. I cleared my head I checked something off my NYC list and I got locked outta the house. That was too funny!!

My cab driver that evening was great his views on life were one in the same as mine! reminding me that other people think and share the same ideals and thoughts I have. So all this questioning I've been doing lately was all for nothing. I'm not nuts issues only come from miscommunication. The cab driver thought he was having a regular conversation little did he know he was reconfirming my thoughts! Thanks Cabby!

I day dream all day long most people think I live on a cloud my latest one is about Publix Donuts and Chocolate cake!!! Theres nothing like those two tastiest SO FLO treats!!!!

Can't wait till next week Kea arrives( she better remember the donuts!!), then Followed by the arrival of Tish and an additional visit from Max!!! WOOHOOO I can't wait!!!

TRUTH

So there are these truth commercials about the effects of smoking. Now! No one wants to hear the truth everyone "knows" the truth. Its no different with a negative activity like smoking vs your character truths!

We all have a difficult time excepting real as real. Because in actuality that real is just someones Real Opinion. Right?!? kea politely pointed out to me that I have this characteristic where I tend to slap people with the truth as raw as an uncooked steak on a plate. Its real its there and sometimes you just don't want it in that form! Well I just had a slice of truth slapped onto me via email. It was unseasoned uncooked and well it was RAW! Or at least I hoped it was. Man no matter how many times I read the email some of those things are not easy to swallow.

The problem is that I feel like its been a huge miscommunication! Is it two different people seeing the situation from different opinions? Is one right and one wrong? Maybe we will never see it the same because we are different??? The truth doesn't come in a right or wrong format and neither does opinion. But when someone is thrashing at your personality or your character flaws whats the next step???

Tish sent me some words of wisdom stating that well we are who we are and that makes us special. If certain people can rock with it then they are rockin without you. BUT.... what happens when it isn't as simple as someone just saying you talk to much or your dressing wack. How about when it questions your integrity as a person??? Where do you go from there?? Truth I was referred to as manipulative. Truth I'm still trying to pick my stomach up off the floor by where I read the words. Truth I"M NOT.. How do you get to that? How can anyone refer to me as that? I need an example I need to know how you came to this conclusion. Is this the general consensus of my peers??? Truth I'm in shock!

I'm not saying that I am Mother Teresa here but I by no means would put that word in my list of character qualities or flaws. Maybe I need to stare in the mirror long and hard and see if the woman staring back is in in fact twisting things to get what I want. But from the bottom of my heart, soul and body I can say that I would never mean for anyone to feel like I use them or was ungrateful.

Joey reminded me this weekend that its not the situations we get into that make the relationship but rather how we handle these situations which better define the relationship. He reminded me that no one is perfect we all make mistakes but its important to move forward. But how the hell do you approach this?? This is one of those I'm gonna have to dig deep down and really really take some time before I respond.

UGH!!!! why does this have to hurt? why do I have to be so sickened by this "truth"

The latest

Yeah yeah yeah so I'm a bit sensitive and yes i really care about my relationships with people. I just had a fabulous weekend in CT with my homies. It's always soo nice to go see Rob-E's family they are the all American perfect family. His Mom made us Breakfast and her and his father BBQ'd for us. We all played wiffle ball, football and even bachi in the back yard!
The Pool party was a huge success the day before it was nice seeing how Rob grew up and meeting more people in his life. He's always been an awesome friend and his weekend escapes to CT always prove that. Some times it is a little difficult as Juice is his bff and that poisonous dude and I never can get it correct. BUT for the first time in a long time we really got along just as friends. It was really nice I miss those days of no pressure and not wanting to kill each other. (Of course there were times when i wanted to kill him !!) OVERALL the trip was an awesome little escape!

I am still dealing with trouble on the friend front with the other Miami natives. :(

im down

im feeling some pain today its been going on for a while and now Im starting to check my feelings in at the front desk. I know Im over whelming as a person and i come on strong sometimes and i know that there are times when i dont think before I speak and i wear my thoughts on my sleeve but i never want to hurt anyone. My honesty at times comes off rude I know.
Im just sick and tired of people i love in my life just thrashing me in different ways. I dunno im rambling Im hurt bottom line I don't wanna spill my heart right now im gonna lay down and think about this with some noodles. :(

but is it me? am i do something wrong as a friend or a person? I guess all this time I thought i was being honest and genuine I was the only one.. certain people didn't feel the need to reciprocate. I have no need for people to treat me the way i treat them. I know we are all different and not everyone has the same time and energy I have. BUt JUST BE HONEST WITH ME. take 5 seconds to text me or to call me. have some consideration. and in regards to people from the past Ive been open to reconnecting and well if you take the offer great or make one awesome. But im not chasing nope can't do it!

i dunno i dunno

Greatful

Living in Miami for the years I lived there was the greatest choice I ever made in life! I lived i learned I loved and most importantly I learned to love. I appreciate so many things in life since I have known what its like to have no one but yourself around. I learned to love my family to the fullest out there. I spent 9 months writing my brother letters and crying on the other side of the glass. Dealing with that from 1500 miles away wasn't easy. Now I get to celebrate with him all the time when I go to Milford and hold him and hug him yell at him and smile with him.
No I can't wait to see my mom and hug her and hold her scream at her and remind her how much i love her! I love going to Milford and chatting with the family. I am lazy and enjoying the city so i don't get up there every week. But I can't wait to get up there this week end ahhhhh

I LOVE MILFORD!!!

realness at its finest

let me bust this down real quick cause I am really hurt and I don't care who thinks I'm sensitive over reacting or keeping it real. THIS IS ME and how i feel if you don't like it don't read it!

I went to Miami! Yes the trip was quick it was brief it was a blast it was a pain in the ass and I rolled deep. Reality is that people like to chill with me so anytime I roll to Miami it's gonna be with at least one other person. When I get to Miami I'll never have more then 4 or 5 days to fit all the people I met over 6 years time. So I apologize if people felt hurt that I didn't make enough time for them or prove to show enough effort to hang out with them. I am only 1 person and I am only human. And not for anything but sometime I think people forget there are things I would like to do too!

I'm quick to help someone or do what someone else wants to do. I prove this time and time again. I read every email, every text, listen to every problem. I have attend break dancing events, bachatta parties, punk rock evenings, hung out with people kids and visited their jobs. NOW many of my friends do all of those things for me. My life is by no means a one way street. BUT BUT yes there I times when I am selfish and want things to go MY WAY. There are many times when people do not want to attend events that I like or want to do So I ignore it.

But I am always ALWAYS grateful and thankful FOR EVERYTHING MY FRIENDS do for both me and my extended friends and family. SO for anyone to ever feel like I was not grateful or that I took advantage is crap.
Further more if and when someone has an issue with me I have continually expressed how important it is to tell me. If you don't tell me how can i fix it????? I don't have a crystal ball and sometimes I really don't know when im acting up. Help a sista out and tell her.

FURTHER MORE i would like to apologize to anyone that felt offended during my MIAMI stay but from the bottom of my heart the trip was too fast too quick and too al over the place. I love and adore my life and friends from Miami but give a sista a break! I am human and I have feelings and we all know that I am sensitive and emotional. So if you guys choose not to answer my calls or return messages that's fine. I tried I failed thanks for everything. I'm sorry for anyone who felt that way it hurts my heart. I'm out on this

strickly for LATI

Home girl I want you to know something. I believe in you and I see how determined you have been through every story, bog, text or email. Conversation through conversation you have constantly showed and explained to me ways you have pushed your self to new heights and offered great advice about it.
Although we are no longer at the same job or even in the same city I still feel like I know whats up with you. Its crazy since our friendship came quickly and my departure came soon after. Yet, I have felt close to you via blogs and advice that you too have helped me push open within myself. Infact had you not suggested this trusty blog site I would not be communicating the way I do nor would I feel as close to you. So this is a prime example. I"M POSTING THIS FOR THE WORLD TO SEE.

THERE IS A MUSIC VIDEO COMING YOUR WAY by Latisha so be prepared world!!!!

I know your going to be awesome and look amazing I wish I was around to offer some assistance but the only thing I can do is offer some good positive vibes and advice. Stay true to the Latisha way of doing things it has never failed you in the past and will launch you closer to your ultimate success. Ask Kea for help advice or good vibes as well she proves to constantly be a source of positivity and great direction. Your a sexy bitch so rock the hell up out that shit son! and oh yeah feel free to come to NYC to shoot I always have a spot for you to crash!



ps please tell me how to go to college for free. I need a masters or a class or something I'm slacking up here just boo timin :)

its still kinda early

okay okay I'm extra gay I know but this was my day yesterday READY??? set and... action

I went and walked to the South Street Sea port there was a latino festival going on I listened to music walked around. I kept getting hit on that was crazy and I chatted with my Erika for some time. Walked home and then my night really started!!!

I cooked dinner and my interested came over. I made pink shrimp penne pasta it came out perfect! and then I made rice crispy treats they didn't come out so prefect. Ahahah but we ate them anyway! we sat around watching the BET awards. Then of course sports center ahahah Yankees swept the mets! And yes I am still smiling from it!

BET

Yes I enjoyed Jamie Fox hosting the BET awards and I love that he didn't just read the teleprompter and I adored that they brought up successful average people. That were doin their thing!!! Highlights for me were NEYO in everything, um.. not Drake no much... Keri hilson dancing and hellooooo MISS ALICIA winning the humanitarian award with Wyclef!!!

sunny sun son

AHHHHH its an amazing day out!!!! I of course slept in till 1:30 who knows the last time I was able to do that! I had an awesome NYC weekend thus far! Hung with my cuzo yesterday participated in some gay pride events with her and it was pretty cool. NO different from Straight events the only difference is there were no guys. But I had fun with her it was nice to see what she does in her world anyway.

But as soon as these roommates of mine finish up in the bathroom its go time fo me to explore something in NYC I don't know just what yet but I do know there is something out there for me! Ideally I want to walk to the Brooklyn bridge but no one is around right now to do it! & ugh to my displeasure when I brought it up to my new interest he remarked thats a little disney channel!!! WHAT A JERK!! maybe I am too disney ahahah like everyone says. But non the less I am confident that he's going to walk this bridge with me maybe not today but he will.

I'm still all smiles

we bought 2 money trees when do the leaves turn into 20s??????

we bought 2 money trees when do the leaves turn into 20s??????

over the top???

So I need a moment a moment to look back and reflect on my communication methods! Today my home girl told me she didn't want to tell me something because she didn't want a lecture.... I was really hurt!! I only tell her these things because I hate watching this asshole of a guy walk all over here and her not wake up to it. Clearly in our own time we will finish these relationships or mysteries as they never get solved. Look at me and Juice Holla that has taken FOREVER!!! And the lil bastard is still in my air to my allowance. BUT in any event she did tell me and I explained that I want her to tell me things and if she doesn't want comment that's fine.

But am I that mean? that over the top that abrupt with my tact??? OUCH I took a step back and well I constructively am. I'm sorry I just got hurt really badly and I don't ever ever ever want any of my lucky ladies to feel the way I once felt. It hurt in fact it still sends a sharp pain once and again! I never want to lie or change the truth but I suppose I can say it a little nicer from now on! I"M PASSIONATE DAMN IT!!

your a mom & pop I'm a corporation

Life isn't a movie and although I believe in fairy tales and I do not dismiss the fact that happy endings take time. I spent much of my time focused on the enchanted fairy tale. i was previously involved in but I have awoken. Although at moments I am too immersed in the "Disney" lifestyle I can't help it. I truly honestly believe in fairy tales and magical moments. Besides if I don't believe in them who will?? Is it so bad that I just want to smile laugh and use gay little words like cute and adorable or fabulous all day??? I don't know honestly why more people can't stand beside reality and look in from a sky high view! I make it a point to just dream all day long. Maybe I'm dreaming too much?? Do I need to come back down??? NAHHHHH I like it up there in the clouds especially here in NYC I have nothing but supporters my haters took a hike when I hopped on the I95 North. Thank goodness for that!
Although extra tired with the new job and transition to it. I still manage to be soaring on cloud 9 for the past few weeks!! I terribly miss my old routines but I am confident I will soon have new ones! But then there is that confidence thing!! Yes!! I do know who I am not and Yes I do know much about myself! Yes I am CONFIDENT and COMFORTABLE with myself and I think everyone should be. LOVE YOURSELF and be your biggest brightest fan! I'm not full of myself but I am damn Proud of myself. I came this far through this long hard journey with love and support but my own perseverance. My dreams will keep being dreamt and my mouth will continue to spread the peace love and confidence inside me!

i'm soo tired but i feel soo much better i put a few things up on the board!! good night world

dat 305 bitches

Well I've been laying off the JUICE!! In the mean time I wanted to shout out a few tings. I am a gay little ball of emotion all the time. I absolutely adore my friends and love my family. I have good days and I have bad days and no matter what I am always smiling. My new recent cute has informed my that he was initially taken back by my perkiness. Maybe its the hood thing maybe its the reality that I am abnormally bright! I explained to him that I am just blessed and time and time again it stands true.
At any given time I can call my friends or family for anything and now that they have my back. Miami trip was no different through busy schedules and birthdays car flooding and late nights my friends made time. They also made the trip better then imagined. I was able to go jet skiing with Diego and let my NYC friends experience the open ocean on the wave runners. Heather was right where I wanted to find her tending the bar at NMB Ale! I loved seeing her back there it brought back amazing memories. I miss those days soo much! I met some of my best friends and life long chicas there! Max and Robbie put out quite the spread for us every night even though his car flooded he made the most of our time. Seeing Money always bring a smile to my face! Shes just a ball of Sunshine and I miss her being across the hall alot. Katie we had the best day!! Wet willies ate up my whole pay check shit they didn't even want my id anymore at the door! But it was worth it my tann is faded and the skin in peeling away now but the fun in the sun that day rocked. I FOUND AN IPOD i mean you don't get any luckier then that! I can go on and on about seeing Kenyatta and having Saulo on the trip. I was lucky it went soo well. We really enjoyed ourselves!!

IM BACKKKK

So there have been huge and tiny occurrences recently in the life of Miss Helenas! I have been completely out of wack and not following any routine! I havn't seen the news read a paper blogged or even spoken to some of my closest! But that is over now. It has been a crazy past 3 weeks from starting PUMA to the Miami Vacation and now my new shortie.

First and foremost Miami was BUGGED the trip went by so fast I was involved in a hurricane style flooding situation and barely got to see my homies. I did manage to get a sick tan on my last full day so that was the plus side. I enjoyed all the time with the people I had and wish that it wouldn't have flown by. It scares me that I moved yet again and now risk loosing contact with people. I felt like I had never left Miami and really enjoyed myself. I loved it there I miss it there but it wasn't for me right now.

NYC is where I need to be. I am working really hard at my job defiantly thinking about a career and everyday I press myself more and more over the issue of more schooling. Now would be the perfect time with my living situation its just that I don't think I can honestly find a job where I will make what I need to make and work the hours and still go to school. This is something I need to continue to think about and if anyone has any suggestions or feedback please shoot my way. I love shoes and would love to work for the marketing department but I don't know if thats ultimately where I want to be. HELP!!! It kills me to know I work in a mall managing a group of teens that look at me like so this is what you want for yourself.... I know I need to be grateful I set myself up for future success and I need to be patient. Everything happens as Tish reminds me in its own time. Just with this I want to at least know what direction I'm heading in so I can feel more in control. I'm not into the floating by. I never saw myself in a mall after college infact this was my biggest fear. I know I know hard work now big pay out later but damn THE MALL?? comeone I need to get to SOHO asap!!!

I'm @ the point right now where nothings hard. we are just learning and all i do is smile!! even if it ends tomorrow im okay with all the smiling

for my ladies

I miss YOU!!!!!! Im sorry that I havn't been around but I'm so swamped with work and my new blossoming situation

im not lost

Im not LOST... Im tired Miami was quick and fun too quick too quick!!! so much to write about soo soo much but IM SOO TIRED!! commuting to Puma is more tiring then I had imagined!!!!

TISH LOVE THE NEW PAGE!!!!


blog world I will be back

sergio Rossi for PUMA

well I am on the red side now and I can't lie although I think adidas is more my brand PUMA has a black station store that only carries collaborations with designers such as Alexander McQueen Sergio Rossi , Scedoni and more.... A lot of it is very fashion forward and somewhat affordable for style junkies. These Rossi heels are amazing and I love them but for $750 even with my 45% off I cant rock them :( all silk made in Italy ahhhh refreshing and saddening all at once!!! These are something I can fit into the style I am searching for!

hypebeast

adidas has my heart and I am a hypebeast right now!!! I'm still trying to find my own style in this city of style junkies and well i really wish adidas thought more about their small sized consumer and offered more. WHY COULDN'T"T THEY PUT ME IN CORPORATE!!!!!!????? I have the answers to their issues

30 more hours

ahhhhh only 30 more hours till I will be reunited with the sandy beaches and palm trees that rocked my world not to long ago. In the midst of being afraid of not fulfilling my dreams I quickly jumped off the island of SOBE and speed to the island of Manhattan. My dreams are all here in New York but My growth began in Miami so I can't wait to get back.
I was a little stressed cause all I wanted to do was surprise my friends but in the spirit of them all being excited the beans got spilled! But its cool Miami I'M COMING SOON TO A BEACH NEAR YOU!!!

I'm in need of some sun, sand, tanning oil and lots of hugs from my friends. I love that I can still revisit that part of my life I really miss those people down there!!! I have attachment issues I never like to let go!!!

more day dreaming

• I would like to take up photography
• I want to take a creative writing class so that I can write short stories
• I would love to write for a magazine
• i still am thinking about teaching for the inner city schools
• I am wishing I woke up and rosetta stone just appeared
• I am set on paying off my bills by december
• DR PR and Miami will all be visited by 2010 and Chicago too

I can't sleep my foot hurts pretty bad and I'm thinking about this weekend! I'm also thinking about how disappointed I get about things sometimes and my friends sometimes do let me down. Its not the end of the world but sometimes they let me down. I am wishing I was tan right now and hoping this hair color I picked likes me as much as I like it!

day dreaming

I've been itching all day to blog and now Im here and the creative juices just aren't flowing... I had a wonderful day training at the PUMA Black store. It's really crazy to be on the other end of the spectrum from adidas but so far I think I really love it! The store I'm training in is in the Meat Packing so on my break I can go sit in the street at the outside tables and enjoy a peaceful lunch.
The city is just really set up for the people here. There are so many little parks and fairs always going on and so much shopping. I mean it hurts my heart to shop in my dreams here. The meat packing is loaded with Alexander McQueen, Stella, DVF, Scoop theres just so much. I always thought I was somewhat fashionable but UGH NO! I'm totally not!! Its so nice to walk around and day dream about shopping when I finally get the big bucks!!

Im a Princess ninja dating superman!!!!

things to get done

I've been really good with focusing and it seems like every time I check something Off my list 2 things happen 1 I start slacking and 2 something major gets added to my list.

1. I finally bought a bed but now need a frame
2. i am still getting tickets on a car in miami that once was registered to me and never got towed from my old building!!! How the hell are they ticketing me???? 366 fucking dollars
3. I need to get a new door for my room
4. I NEED a haircut
5. get back on track with school loans
6. start working out again
7. call mi tia y abuela
8. get my rosetta stone
9. i need and IPOD!!!
10. sign up for an easy pass
11. donate some of my clothes to the poor I don't need
12. find a hobby to make some friends
    

mainly these things require funds which I will be attaining but I need to prioritize and stop getting tickets I rode through the ez pass by mistake today thats another 100$ ticket!

getting personal

I AM totally having a moment right now!!!!

i felt evil a little bit ago I had some strange thoughts about my Mom.... I know I'll get through this and smile at the end because thats what Im good at

Money has arrived

Money is what I call Kerry! I thugged her out a little bit ahaha and besides then I'll always have money in the bank. But she's visiting her family in NJ and we made the trip to NYC and she came to see my pad and life here. I'm so happy to see her and hang we just sat around talking.
We started the day by grabbing some Blue Moons at a bar in NJ with a Spinach Dip. My favorite little appetizer!! We toured her house and her town where she grew up it was soo cute.
Then we came back to the city toured my new town and headed out to grab some Mexican food. I am obsessed with guacamole so we went to my usual spot. The whole day was so peaceful and all we did was reminisce about the good old days.

I love looking back with my friends cause they remember so much!! Money and I have been through a lot together much like my other friends and I look back and smile. We have been on trips and adventures then other days just laid around. I adore my friends and memories, it saddens me when they want me to move back because as much as I miss the Miami years chapter. In my book that city is closed, now I'm moving forward here with all of them a phone call or text message away.

small inspirations

I like to walk through the world with my ears and eyes open! I've been walking through learning from everyone around me and grabbing inspiration from some interesting places. Mainly I get inspired by my friends they all have an uncanny ability to post or text email or call me about something my head has been thinking about. Lately much like Miss. Latisha I have been pondering my own next move. She like many other of my friends have attained the goals they set to be at during this point of their lives. They key question seems to keep dragging everyone down is whats next...

When your 5 or 6 your twenties seem light years away. When you get to your twenties and your in "adulthood" you feel rushed to reach whatever that next step is. I keep explaining to all of them that we should feel blessed to be where we have reached as not everyone in the world is as lucky as my friends. Many of you are teachers, store managers, work with celebrities on different levels, and some of you have families. Children are said to be the greatest blessing. I'm just not there yet. My dream has always been to live in New York for some big corporate company and just live a life I was enjoying.

Well I'm here in the Big Apple great apartment just landed a job with growth opportunity and I may not having a flourishing relationship or bank account but I'm going to attain one before the other. So much like Latisha I'm where I dreamed I would be at this point. Although I was always a dreamer and a boy chaser as a little girl so my Prince Charming is still somewhere. But looking back at the struggles I've gone through to get where I am. I got here pretty easily! Maybe I'm not pushing my self hard enough to get further ahead since I am comfortable with where I am???

evil

Well I noticed the house was somewhat different. The 3rd roommate came home to my surprise, I thought he was in LA doing god knows what. But anyway he totally found his Louie V shades in my glasses case and took them back :(....... I was enjoying the time stuntin in his shades. But more importantly I know hes gonna want to flip on me for having them. I can not lie I hope it makes him want to move out!!!! I just don't want him in here! Its soo annoying that hes never here his shit is here and hes just plain old annoying....

I'm normally not mean but hes just erking me "living" here at least clean your mess up and keep it in your room if your never ever gonna be around!

ME!!!

I am soo tired right now! Im exhausted from constantly catering around everyone else's schedules at the moment. I know it sounds selfish but I would have loved to just sleep in today and tote around New York. Instead I got little sleep, awoke early and drove 2.5 hours ( its not an extra half hour these days) to PA to come have dinner with the family. I enjoy being close to home and getting to POP in and out but sometimes I just want to actually have a DAY OFF! Very soon i will have a mini vacation that will be all about ME!!! In the mean time my head ace and I are going to go attend dinner. I hope my head ace decides to not stay!

gotta go they are rushing me out the house

i am smiling!

end of my sentence

Okay so I haven't blogged in a hot minute about anything to emotional or sappy! I've been pretty much straight forward with my moving forward. During which time I have been blocking the negative feels... but once in a bit my end of the sentence comes and everything falls on me like a ton of bricks.... So its that time! Yes I am sad about the situation that I lost a bond with him. yes it pains me deeply that we don't speak... yes its my fault I screamed those mean somewhat truthful emotions out loud.... YES I WANT YOU BACK IN MY LIFE!!!!
Tonight sitting there in his house with his friend I could barley fork down my amazing pollo lo main! I lost my appetite!! I just wanted to turn around give him a hug and barry the hatchet! that didn't happen. It was miserable uncomfortable and well the only we shared conversation about was the yanks and the weather. We never looked at each other and we never directed conversation at each other. It suck :( I never want to be that way with anyone especially not him. But this is life you win some you loose some. Somethings stay the same most things change. If you don't roll with the changes you get lost in the dust.... I just wanted this to end the way I wanted it to end. The way it started as FRIENDS

fabulous visit

It's always awesome having people visit and this visit from Kea has been fantastic. I have really gotten to get into the city since her little exploring ass arrived. Yesterday was an exceptionally exciting day! We woke at around 1 since the night before we were out till 4 am! The night before we spent trucking through the city stopping at all different venues. We hung out with her friends from the break-dancing world. In addition to the breakers we kicked it with the smelly skate boarders! i had such a great time with both crowds of people however. We enjoyed some frosty cold beers and watched the amazing dance moves.
Sunday fun day however, we really got the party started! After we took our time deciding how to layer up to explore the city we hit it to the skate park up the block. It was fun watching all the young kids skate around while we waited for her friend Jilleen!
Jill is Chinese and we explored China town from a whole different perspective then I ever have! We ate PHO! I recommend this beef noodle soup to anyone! PHO is cheap tasty and filling as well as fun! You mix it to your own tasting adding lemon hot sauce japs! We drank jasmine tea and topped it off with Chinese bread pudding.... a few blocks later we stopped in a candy shop... more treats there..... after we turned the corner we scooped up some Chinese ice cream. I had the toasted sesame peanut butter and kea had a bland red bean.
We didn't digest the food till we reached the Rock n Roll Annex where they had a John Lennon Exhibit. I was opened up to a whole other side of rock & roll. I love kickin it with Kea since she takes time to show me new and exciting things. I adored the love store between John and Yoko Ono! It was very emotional to watch and learn and a bit over whelming. but it was a romantic exhibit and i adored it. After watching a great love story begin and end we headed to El Sombrero in the LES for guacamole! We had great conversation and then walked back to the house and feel asleep by 1 am!
(sigh) very fulfilling day we had. Never once did we get on the train from my house to the annex all the food and back. My apt is the perfect place in the city. Thanks to Kea I had a great tour of New York with her and Jill. HA I was suppose to be taking her around but as usual kea taught me!

earth shattering

So there is nothing exciting going on right now in my life.... Its cool I suppose that my life is quiet. I'm lucky nothing bad is happening. But I can't wake to shake things up soon I got nothing inspiring exciting or shitty.

Today I quit adidas ( sniffle sniffle) it was hard to tell Danny I was going to be leaving the company. I didn't tell him it was to go to PUMA I felt like that was unnecessary. I really hope that PUMA is everything I want. I quit the gym too! Its going to be the first time in a very long time that I will have only ONE job!!! yeah a normal life of 2 days off a week and time to relax and enjoy ahhhh

Just in time for the summer time I will be enjoying!

priorities

Now that I have finally got my career issues solved... my housing issues solved... Next on the list is the Social life!!! I'm about to get things poppin!!! I'm soo excited for my Miami trip!!! Its unreal how stoked I am so go lay on the beach see all my love muffins and just party like its 1999!!

I'm loving New York more and more as the Sun comes out to play. As it gets nicer outside I get more excited ... I know this is going to be the best summer ever!!

job #4 in 3 months

I want to scream on a roof top I AM THE SHIT!!!!

Okay I am blessed I waited I was positive I was patient and I received!!!

The job I wanted soo terribly bad I GOT OFFERED!!! They didn't match the exact salary requirement I had but they came closer then any other company so far!!!

Are YOU READ??? Ladies and Gentleman of the sneaker community I am stunned and confused to announce I am going to be accepting a position at...... drum roll please

PUMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The 3 stripes has my heart and soul but they aren't ready to shell out the cash!!! Well Rudolph came up and pulled out the check book! I'm not stopping here but I am on a positive upward climb on this steep hill called New York City living!!

I'm SOOO PROUD OF MY FRIEND JENNIFER!!!! She was in charge and owned the situation!!! Go on GIRL... She Loved her self and she Proved it! It only gets easier from here!!!

fashion foe

This bothers me a little bit YOU ARE NOT A FASHIONISTA if your a LABEL WHORE!!!

Fashion comes from what makes you feel comfortable, confident and radiant!! You can be amazingly dressed with a shirt from target! Walking around I see people carrying their expensive bags and shoes that look like their feet kill! This does not make you a fashionista! Being fashion savvy is about putting together something that is attractive and tasteful. I have been searching for my new style and feel like it needs to be more "grown". Working @ adidas I can't just give up my kicks clearly that's my uniform. But I do get it poppin after hours. & yes my style includes my sneakers... I'm still slowly finding pieces that will work into my new wardrobe but I'm not following a specific category. I'm going for great fit and style that makes me strut the sidewalks!!

what a day

i love my car I mean its the biggest thing I have ever purchased and I spend most of my income on it so i adore it. BUT... i drive way to much sometimes.. today I got new tires on the front for my baby after i spent an hour detailing her with my step dad last night!

Today I kept getting lost and driving in circles!! i was soo aggravated but after many deep breaths i found my way! Then drove to have dinner with my dad, brother and his girlfriend (she just moved in with my dad and Bro). Dinner was amazing my dad is the greatest cook the pork chops were tender and I love potatoes & Corn so I was very pleased. He of course even had cake for dessert!! I'm TOTALLY my fathers child we both ADORE CAKE!! Although tonight he asked about my Love Life.. I of course replied with NOPE I'm single STILL Dad living in New York it isn't the easiest place to meet people. He also noted that I picked up a few pounds. ( thanks dad!)

I'm so exhausted I finished the night hanging with my step dad for a bit and now I'm heading to bed before horse back riding in the morning. I love staying busy up here is PA but its soo much work to get around! I love the family time I wish my Mom was around for it but I can't have a perfect world