2 men

this year has been the year of losses... its been sad yet grateful i survived in the world to age 26 before i felt the pain of loss... is that true though? i had lost before not by death but an equal heart-ache. My brother wasn't always around and we weren't always close that in itself was a crime. My uncle whom had watched me from birth and had relished the joy of watching me grow i dismissed at the idea of not growing as a man. Until this year....
this year has brought pain and challenge to my heart and soul but above all has taught be to heal and accept through actions.

Puerto Rico this year was different then any other. Not because of the excursions and adventures of exploring the island but because i explored the island with my loved ones whom not only loved me but loved themselves enough to change for the better.

My brother has continued to grow into a man i can respect and turn to. One vivid memory plays over and over in my head watching my brother calmy and patiently walk my aunt to the car place her in the seat and shut the door. he walked at her pace he moved when she moved. He didn't even so much as look around to be in a rush; he took his time because he wanted to. That was just one display he showed of having matured into a beautiful young man. His energy was positive, his attitude excited and ready for adventure and his heart open as his mind to soak up the traditions and heritage we ever so long to learn about. My brother showed he was a man. He showed me that the years i longed for are present that he was my friend, my companion and my supporter. He turned to me a told me he was happy and grateful i afforded him the opportunity to come and i hope he knows when i looked into his eyes i read his soul. I read his love and that was thanks enough for me..... It was what all 3 of my parents would want and it was what the 2 of us needed for ourselves no one else.i could write about him forever but i will hold off as im sure nhe will continue to amaze me in life...

I have to admit the experience with my uncle was equally as dynamic and earth shattering. That a man in his 40s could be reborn. This was a man i initially didn't invite but one whom placed the tone on how i will continue to explore through life. My uncle faced his problem head on with his head and his heart and he took only him self and his addiction as a prisoner. He relished in the idea of gaining his life back and well he did just that. He experienced puerto Rico in a fashion he never had. He shared that new born exploration with the kids he watched grow up. With the children he longed to have their acceptance and well he received it.

They say people want sons because there is no greater joy then watching him become a man. A man though isn't an action you achieve by birth, its often a word to describe the gender of male and that's wrong, A man is a male whom is motivated and a male whom can grow and achieve greatness. Being a man isn't something your born its something you grow into. For me I lost 2 men this year and watch 2 males become men in front of me. And although my brother and my uncle may have displayed these common acts in front of others to me to watch these displays of affection and the feel the love was maybe something that hit me like a punch from lenox lewis.

i look forward to growing these memories