1 drink too many

My moms drinking problem is something that eats me alive both day and night. I've struggled with these feelings my entire life and it doesn't hurt any less as I get older. I almost feel like the pain is cutting in deeper as I get older because I feel helpless. Everyone is always offering great advice and lending a listening ear but it still hurts. Its a pain I can't describe It just eats and eats on me. Its like her shitty choices snack on my soul. At an attempt to let her know how I felt I wrote an enraged 3 page letter. The letter had my heart splattered all over it as thought I just took it out of my chest and dropped it on the page. I hope when she opens the letter she can see it and feel it the way I do. I left the letter on the counter and instructed Darryl to give it to my mother. He of course read it. Called me claimed he wasn't being nosey but couldn't help himself. Im glad he read it I left it there for him to read. I want the whole world around me to know maybe then she will get it. But this opened the door for Darryl and I to have a conversation about this. The man never does this his feelings are shut tighter then the banks doors on christmas. I loved it we chatted we spoke I was honest he was honest. I feel like he knows me better now. My brother and I are his only kids he never wants to have any of his own ( after me they couldn't ever top this so why try LOL) Im lucky hes my step father and hes lucky Im his kid and my mom is lucky to have all of us behind her supporting her. I hope the letter opens her mind body and soul to change. I can't handle her to have even another drink !!