Today I think, its going to be such an inconvenience to make the trip. I'm already cranky tired and my end of the sentence is here! But when I think back about it you would have done it selflessly for me. You would have not even thought twice about the long drive the cost of gas or the risk of no parking when you returned home. You would just have gotten your happy ass over to see me on my day. You would have been delighted and ecstatic to do it. Never even a second guess in mind.

Is it that I am lazy? Maybe I'm selfish with my time? Perhaps Im still angry with you and havn't made peace with it?? Whatever the reason is why I don't want to there is only 1 reason why I should. You infact are celebrating your birthday and you are in fact my mother. Whether it pains me emotionaly or physically to do this small guesture of Love it needs to get done. I would ordinarily love to do this as I adore Bdays and feel like everyone should feel special. Still there is something there that little bit of anger that makes me second guess if I should go through the trouble for you. I know you would for me. I want to for you. I wish you just stopped making me so damn dissapointed. Then other days im soo proud! ( wow now I know how you feel)