Tuesday, July 28, 2009
first time for everything
Please give me the strength to keep moving forward... please guide me through my insecurities and keep me humble.... As time passes and confusion continues don't stop with the signs the little ones the luminous ones.. the confusing or the straight forward...... Change is a challenge one that is not easy and comes from deep within sometimes. Continue to remind me I can do it and I am whatever I create for myself..... although the road to here as been quick with sharp turns I haven't fallen off the path!! I may have been sidetracked but I keep pushing forward and discovering inspiration through many outlets. I will not give up I promise.... I will use my resources, my courage and my surroundings to achieve more then I thought possible.... Please just help me to discover the next step as I am the utmost grateful for what I have received till now I will show my gratitude by striving for more!!!
the weekend continued
Monday made a three day weekend for me and it also marked yet another memorable day for me. Randomly explored NYC with Joseph and Ozzy it was sooo fun!! We did random touristy stuff and just went to different Steve Maddens in which I got a pair I was in love with for only $19.99 they were originally $130!!!! wooohooooo
We went to pollos job racked up on some belts then hit it over to M&M world. That place is like an amusement park and OMG they don't get mad if you eat the M&Ms!!! Then we hit it over to the biggest toy store in the world!!! The evening ended with dinner at my house cooked by yours truly!
We had pasta its fast and cheap but it was extra tasty!!!
How did I ever get soo lucky to enjoy such an amazing weekend. & as for my hang time with Juice it was like old times old old times. Before the butterflies flew into my stomach, before the smile sent chills down my back. It was great it really was
We went to pollos job racked up on some belts then hit it over to M&M world. That place is like an amusement park and OMG they don't get mad if you eat the M&Ms!!! Then we hit it over to the biggest toy store in the world!!! The evening ended with dinner at my house cooked by yours truly!
We had pasta its fast and cheap but it was extra tasty!!!
How did I ever get soo lucky to enjoy such an amazing weekend. & as for my hang time with Juice it was like old times old old times. Before the butterflies flew into my stomach, before the smile sent chills down my back. It was great it really was
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Six Flags fun
Yesterday was awesome!!! I went to Six Flags with the guy I've been dating and we had a blast!! I have no say we were really both leaning away from each other and haven't hung out in a hot minute. So initially when we were still going to six flags together I thought it was gonna be wack. BUT! I had an awesome time with him! We rode the rides, played the games we ate we talked it was all and all a great day! I was a fat ass though all i wanted to do was eat and eat! Quiznos after the park ( his idea my favorite spot) was the perfect ending to a perfect day!
Now I'm sore from my Run and the millions of miles we walked yesterday and today is YANKEE DAY!!!
My dad my Bro & his chick are all going to the YANKEE GAME!! I can't wait they should be here in an hour!! wooohoooo Today is gonna be great!
I've been loving this weekend
Now I'm sore from my Run and the millions of miles we walked yesterday and today is YANKEE DAY!!!
My dad my Bro & his chick are all going to the YANKEE GAME!! I can't wait they should be here in an hour!! wooohoooo Today is gonna be great!
I've been loving this weekend
Friday night
Update Friday night was rough!! I dunno what the hell came over me but i was feeling a bit emotional ( as per usual these days)!! I got home from work and I just grabbed Pollos I pod and started running!! Its been a long time since I ran! i was like Forrest I couldn't stop. In fact I ran to Brooklyn and back!!! I finally made it over the Brooklyn Bridge. I did it all by myself too!! I stopped to enjoy the bridge and read some of the literature. Come to find out the man that originally started the bridge died and his son took over the project. Then when he became ill and could no longer visit the site HIS WIFE finished the project!! ( Strong women in 1887!! That's what i like to hear)
Running the bridge at 11 pm in a frenzy of anger and confusion was just what I needed to do. I cleared my head I checked something off my NYC list and I got locked outta the house. That was too funny!!
My cab driver that evening was great his views on life were one in the same as mine! reminding me that other people think and share the same ideals and thoughts I have. So all this questioning I've been doing lately was all for nothing. I'm not nuts issues only come from miscommunication. The cab driver thought he was having a regular conversation little did he know he was reconfirming my thoughts! Thanks Cabby!
Running the bridge at 11 pm in a frenzy of anger and confusion was just what I needed to do. I cleared my head I checked something off my NYC list and I got locked outta the house. That was too funny!!
My cab driver that evening was great his views on life were one in the same as mine! reminding me that other people think and share the same ideals and thoughts I have. So all this questioning I've been doing lately was all for nothing. I'm not nuts issues only come from miscommunication. The cab driver thought he was having a regular conversation little did he know he was reconfirming my thoughts! Thanks Cabby!
I day dream all day long most people think I live on a cloud my latest one is about Publix Donuts and Chocolate cake!!! Theres nothing like those two tastiest SO FLO treats!!!!
Can't wait till next week Kea arrives( she better remember the donuts!!), then Followed by the arrival of Tish and an additional visit from Max!!! WOOHOOO I can't wait!!!
Can't wait till next week Kea arrives( she better remember the donuts!!), then Followed by the arrival of Tish and an additional visit from Max!!! WOOHOOO I can't wait!!!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
TRUTH
So there are these truth commercials about the effects of smoking. Now! No one wants to hear the truth everyone "knows" the truth. Its no different with a negative activity like smoking vs your character truths!
We all have a difficult time excepting real as real. Because in actuality that real is just someones Real Opinion. Right?!? kea politely pointed out to me that I have this characteristic where I tend to slap people with the truth as raw as an uncooked steak on a plate. Its real its there and sometimes you just don't want it in that form! Well I just had a slice of truth slapped onto me via email. It was unseasoned uncooked and well it was RAW! Or at least I hoped it was. Man no matter how many times I read the email some of those things are not easy to swallow.
The problem is that I feel like its been a huge miscommunication! Is it two different people seeing the situation from different opinions? Is one right and one wrong? Maybe we will never see it the same because we are different??? The truth doesn't come in a right or wrong format and neither does opinion. But when someone is thrashing at your personality or your character flaws whats the next step???
Tish sent me some words of wisdom stating that well we are who we are and that makes us special. If certain people can rock with it then they are rockin without you. BUT.... what happens when it isn't as simple as someone just saying you talk to much or your dressing wack. How about when it questions your integrity as a person??? Where do you go from there?? Truth I was referred to as manipulative. Truth I'm still trying to pick my stomach up off the floor by where I read the words. Truth I"M NOT.. How do you get to that? How can anyone refer to me as that? I need an example I need to know how you came to this conclusion. Is this the general consensus of my peers??? Truth I'm in shock!
I'm not saying that I am Mother Teresa here but I by no means would put that word in my list of character qualities or flaws. Maybe I need to stare in the mirror long and hard and see if the woman staring back is in in fact twisting things to get what I want. But from the bottom of my heart, soul and body I can say that I would never mean for anyone to feel like I use them or was ungrateful.
Joey reminded me this weekend that its not the situations we get into that make the relationship but rather how we handle these situations which better define the relationship. He reminded me that no one is perfect we all make mistakes but its important to move forward. But how the hell do you approach this?? This is one of those I'm gonna have to dig deep down and really really take some time before I respond.
UGH!!!! why does this have to hurt? why do I have to be so sickened by this "truth"
We all have a difficult time excepting real as real. Because in actuality that real is just someones Real Opinion. Right?!? kea politely pointed out to me that I have this characteristic where I tend to slap people with the truth as raw as an uncooked steak on a plate. Its real its there and sometimes you just don't want it in that form! Well I just had a slice of truth slapped onto me via email. It was unseasoned uncooked and well it was RAW! Or at least I hoped it was. Man no matter how many times I read the email some of those things are not easy to swallow.
The problem is that I feel like its been a huge miscommunication! Is it two different people seeing the situation from different opinions? Is one right and one wrong? Maybe we will never see it the same because we are different??? The truth doesn't come in a right or wrong format and neither does opinion. But when someone is thrashing at your personality or your character flaws whats the next step???
Tish sent me some words of wisdom stating that well we are who we are and that makes us special. If certain people can rock with it then they are rockin without you. BUT.... what happens when it isn't as simple as someone just saying you talk to much or your dressing wack. How about when it questions your integrity as a person??? Where do you go from there?? Truth I was referred to as manipulative. Truth I'm still trying to pick my stomach up off the floor by where I read the words. Truth I"M NOT.. How do you get to that? How can anyone refer to me as that? I need an example I need to know how you came to this conclusion. Is this the general consensus of my peers??? Truth I'm in shock!
I'm not saying that I am Mother Teresa here but I by no means would put that word in my list of character qualities or flaws. Maybe I need to stare in the mirror long and hard and see if the woman staring back is in in fact twisting things to get what I want. But from the bottom of my heart, soul and body I can say that I would never mean for anyone to feel like I use them or was ungrateful.
Joey reminded me this weekend that its not the situations we get into that make the relationship but rather how we handle these situations which better define the relationship. He reminded me that no one is perfect we all make mistakes but its important to move forward. But how the hell do you approach this?? This is one of those I'm gonna have to dig deep down and really really take some time before I respond.
UGH!!!! why does this have to hurt? why do I have to be so sickened by this "truth"
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