Thursday, June 14, 2012
in the moment
There comes that point when you just aren't scared. When you just wake up with a smile and you have accepted your surroundings. But you aren't settling you have accepted that the universe is providing you with just what you need.
That the universe is making you stronger with your choices and more confident and that the people you have surrounded yourself with push you to do more. That the people around you make you feel better about yourself everyday.
We always will want more its human nature but you have to just smile sometimes and look around at the blessings you have an just know in this moment that you are being provided with everything you need for the moment.
The moment that you feel something is missing is the moment you need to seek more and that should continue to be the case. But don't forget the enjoy the moments the smiles the sunshine and those seconds that it feels like time has stood still because you can look in the mirror smile and say have a sigh of relief that the world is on your side.
even in the worst case scenarios its important to stop and just revisit them as a small challenge. Because in the grand scheme of things change is inevitable and a way of life but if you can find more positive then negative then those small changes will continue topropel you forward.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Its been forever since ive blogged but nothing changes life goes on. We work, we pay bills we pray for success love and find time for smiles and self fulfillment. BUT nothing changes; we start to go through the motions and really start to wonder where it all leads. In life we get to make our own choices they say. What path you take blue collar or white. They say that we have the keys to our own destiny based off of the persistance and self motivation you have. But if that really true? Motive is create for us the idea of not failing by society's standards and the idea of what success is measured by in america seems as tho its pre determined for us.
Life ends and you never know when your going to go... you just pray that you get to enjoy the ride while you can. Well ladies and gentleman strap up your seatbelts because for some its a little bit more bumpy then others. WHY?? How come it starts to feel like we don't control our own choices? That its already mapped out for us.
in sex and the city she once plagued us with the question do you maybe not get it all? what happens if your living in your dream with great friends and supportive family and an awesome career path. Does love not happen for you? If you fall in love does that mean you focus on family and you forget about your friends and only have time for work and kids? Do you ever focus so much on work that there isn't time for love and friends? How do you fall in love with no friends?
the questions always remain a mystery and the greatest mystery is trying to figure out what will fullfill your life. Who chooses that? seems like you don't if you long for the things you don't have. if your always working to provide and forget to live life... what about if your so busy living your life you forget to invite someone else in???
what about the bad choices we making thinking about ourselves and those choices are fullfilling to us and we say FUCK everyone else? what about those choices? what about when you put everyone else first and they forget that you need encouragement and have feelings and thoughts and you can hurt and need someone to support your choices??
choices... life.... love.... pain.... fullfillment... decisions....family.... career.....
who decides??? how will you decide
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
damn time flies... its seems like just yesterday I was giggling in the kitchen with Lyndsay eating all the food in my parents cabinets. Now shes married with a house dogs and im living this amazing single in NYC life. We have been sooo blessed in our lives with our friendship and the way we grew up. Its crazy how time flies though. I've always loved about Lyndsay how she does everything out of the goodness of her heart. never for a response from anyone or to be the king. She just puts other people first. Its just insance how time is cruising I barley ever know what day it is and I am now starting to forget how old i am when i tell people. Is it bad i still accidently tell them 24??
its important we celebrate life and the people around us. That we celebrate and remind them how important they are in our lives. it's true when they say you never know when your going to go. It's important we don't sweat the little things and that we focus on loving each other for better or worse. Everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect infact its the dwelling on other peoples mistakes that hurts worse and makes you feel worse inside then the moment you forgive and move on. 2011 was about really living life and learning to appretiate it. 2012 will be a continuation and the challange will be finding ways to remind everyone of those things.
dont sweat the small stuff people make mistakes they forget they get caught up people are capable of forgiving and continuing to love
its important we celebrate life and the people around us. That we celebrate and remind them how important they are in our lives. it's true when they say you never know when your going to go. It's important we don't sweat the little things and that we focus on loving each other for better or worse. Everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect infact its the dwelling on other peoples mistakes that hurts worse and makes you feel worse inside then the moment you forgive and move on. 2011 was about really living life and learning to appretiate it. 2012 will be a continuation and the challange will be finding ways to remind everyone of those things.
dont sweat the small stuff people make mistakes they forget they get caught up people are capable of forgiving and continuing to love
Friday, September 23, 2011
2 men
this year has been the year of losses... its been sad yet grateful i survived in the world to age 26 before i felt the pain of loss... is that true though? i had lost before not by death but an equal heart-ache. My brother wasn't always around and we weren't always close that in itself was a crime. My uncle whom had watched me from birth and had relished the joy of watching me grow i dismissed at the idea of not growing as a man. Until this year....
this year has brought pain and challenge to my heart and soul but above all has taught be to heal and accept through actions.
Puerto Rico this year was different then any other. Not because of the excursions and adventures of exploring the island but because i explored the island with my loved ones whom not only loved me but loved themselves enough to change for the better.
My brother has continued to grow into a man i can respect and turn to. One vivid memory plays over and over in my head watching my brother calmy and patiently walk my aunt to the car place her in the seat and shut the door. he walked at her pace he moved when she moved. He didn't even so much as look around to be in a rush; he took his time because he wanted to. That was just one display he showed of having matured into a beautiful young man. His energy was positive, his attitude excited and ready for adventure and his heart open as his mind to soak up the traditions and heritage we ever so long to learn about. My brother showed he was a man. He showed me that the years i longed for are present that he was my friend, my companion and my supporter. He turned to me a told me he was happy and grateful i afforded him the opportunity to come and i hope he knows when i looked into his eyes i read his soul. I read his love and that was thanks enough for me..... It was what all 3 of my parents would want and it was what the 2 of us needed for ourselves no one else.i could write about him forever but i will hold off as im sure nhe will continue to amaze me in life...
I have to admit the experience with my uncle was equally as dynamic and earth shattering. That a man in his 40s could be reborn. This was a man i initially didn't invite but one whom placed the tone on how i will continue to explore through life. My uncle faced his problem head on with his head and his heart and he took only him self and his addiction as a prisoner. He relished in the idea of gaining his life back and well he did just that. He experienced puerto Rico in a fashion he never had. He shared that new born exploration with the kids he watched grow up. With the children he longed to have their acceptance and well he received it.
They say people want sons because there is no greater joy then watching him become a man. A man though isn't an action you achieve by birth, its often a word to describe the gender of male and that's wrong, A man is a male whom is motivated and a male whom can grow and achieve greatness. Being a man isn't something your born its something you grow into. For me I lost 2 men this year and watch 2 males become men in front of me. And although my brother and my uncle may have displayed these common acts in front of others to me to watch these displays of affection and the feel the love was maybe something that hit me like a punch from lenox lewis.
i look forward to growing these memories
this year has brought pain and challenge to my heart and soul but above all has taught be to heal and accept through actions.
Puerto Rico this year was different then any other. Not because of the excursions and adventures of exploring the island but because i explored the island with my loved ones whom not only loved me but loved themselves enough to change for the better.
My brother has continued to grow into a man i can respect and turn to. One vivid memory plays over and over in my head watching my brother calmy and patiently walk my aunt to the car place her in the seat and shut the door. he walked at her pace he moved when she moved. He didn't even so much as look around to be in a rush; he took his time because he wanted to. That was just one display he showed of having matured into a beautiful young man. His energy was positive, his attitude excited and ready for adventure and his heart open as his mind to soak up the traditions and heritage we ever so long to learn about. My brother showed he was a man. He showed me that the years i longed for are present that he was my friend, my companion and my supporter. He turned to me a told me he was happy and grateful i afforded him the opportunity to come and i hope he knows when i looked into his eyes i read his soul. I read his love and that was thanks enough for me..... It was what all 3 of my parents would want and it was what the 2 of us needed for ourselves no one else.i could write about him forever but i will hold off as im sure nhe will continue to amaze me in life...
I have to admit the experience with my uncle was equally as dynamic and earth shattering. That a man in his 40s could be reborn. This was a man i initially didn't invite but one whom placed the tone on how i will continue to explore through life. My uncle faced his problem head on with his head and his heart and he took only him self and his addiction as a prisoner. He relished in the idea of gaining his life back and well he did just that. He experienced puerto Rico in a fashion he never had. He shared that new born exploration with the kids he watched grow up. With the children he longed to have their acceptance and well he received it.
They say people want sons because there is no greater joy then watching him become a man. A man though isn't an action you achieve by birth, its often a word to describe the gender of male and that's wrong, A man is a male whom is motivated and a male whom can grow and achieve greatness. Being a man isn't something your born its something you grow into. For me I lost 2 men this year and watch 2 males become men in front of me. And although my brother and my uncle may have displayed these common acts in front of others to me to watch these displays of affection and the feel the love was maybe something that hit me like a punch from lenox lewis.
i look forward to growing these memories
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
preperations
you can only prepare your mind heart body and soul for so much in life. You prepare your mind for work or school by studying and reading, prepare for sports with practice and you prepare your soul for good by treating people the way you want to be treated. Can you truly prepare your HEART??
When you get stuck by cupid and fall in LOVE you never are aware who that person is going to be or when its going to happen thats why they say don't look for it. When your on a witch hunt for love you come up as short as looking for a tear drop in the ocean...... When heart break comes it hits you like a brick wall you didn't see in front of you. There isn't a way to prepare for the burning sensation in your stomach or the empty pit in your chest. Heart ache just BURNSSS and when you think about it your chest goes up in flames as though to add gasonline to a fire.... Can you prepare for Love to end???
They say life ends loving doesn't and thats oh so very true but does the broken heart sting less if you were prepared? I'm going to say YES... because I want to believe YES so i am putting the energy in the atmosphere to be YES!! This week has been a tough one lots of changes with the passing of Mr. Kalin but one thing that hasn't changed is how devoted to him Mrs. Kalin has been... I keep writing about it but its surrounding me. In a time where i question true love and emortal happiness she keeps proving to me it exists. they reached 50 years Lyndsay hopes her and Chris go all 50 I know they will. Love is a funny emotion and the heart is a sensative organ. Love is hard and rock solid and a heart if fragil and tempermental. But newlyweds or the tenured have a glow about them when its real. Because when its real its neverending..... Mrs. Kalin kept every promise and granted every wish honnoring ever last vow just the way Lyndsay will and one day i will... the same goes for those who dont put the vows on paper.. Cause Mom and Darryl they have that rock hard love the heavy metal kind i guess mixed with salsa.
Mrs. Kalin has smiled every day and for every tear she shed she has smiled again showing that the love doesn't end.. the pain burns and its empty but she is filled with memories and surrounded by people that love her. She had a fullfilling marriage and met the man she spent forever with in highschool and they watched each other grow up.. Not many people can say that.. I sure no i won't but No matter when you meet your macth the important thing is to know that growing old together is compromise and love is sacrafice and is never ending..... xoxox
When you get stuck by cupid and fall in LOVE you never are aware who that person is going to be or when its going to happen thats why they say don't look for it. When your on a witch hunt for love you come up as short as looking for a tear drop in the ocean...... When heart break comes it hits you like a brick wall you didn't see in front of you. There isn't a way to prepare for the burning sensation in your stomach or the empty pit in your chest. Heart ache just BURNSSS and when you think about it your chest goes up in flames as though to add gasonline to a fire.... Can you prepare for Love to end???
They say life ends loving doesn't and thats oh so very true but does the broken heart sting less if you were prepared? I'm going to say YES... because I want to believe YES so i am putting the energy in the atmosphere to be YES!! This week has been a tough one lots of changes with the passing of Mr. Kalin but one thing that hasn't changed is how devoted to him Mrs. Kalin has been... I keep writing about it but its surrounding me. In a time where i question true love and emortal happiness she keeps proving to me it exists. they reached 50 years Lyndsay hopes her and Chris go all 50 I know they will. Love is a funny emotion and the heart is a sensative organ. Love is hard and rock solid and a heart if fragil and tempermental. But newlyweds or the tenured have a glow about them when its real. Because when its real its neverending..... Mrs. Kalin kept every promise and granted every wish honnoring ever last vow just the way Lyndsay will and one day i will... the same goes for those who dont put the vows on paper.. Cause Mom and Darryl they have that rock hard love the heavy metal kind i guess mixed with salsa.
Mrs. Kalin has smiled every day and for every tear she shed she has smiled again showing that the love doesn't end.. the pain burns and its empty but she is filled with memories and surrounded by people that love her. She had a fullfilling marriage and met the man she spent forever with in highschool and they watched each other grow up.. Not many people can say that.. I sure no i won't but No matter when you meet your macth the important thing is to know that growing old together is compromise and love is sacrafice and is never ending..... xoxox
Friday, June 3, 2011
there is that word again
Im back again with more thoughts i didn't really complete my thoughts the other night and now after watching oddly enough some reality tv some more emotions have surfaced. I should preface this with it's a friday night with perfect weather in NYC and yeah I'm home blogging watching my DVR... i am NOT WINNING! This is a tough city to be single in especially if your living on a budget and well student loans and vacationing are my passion so I spend extra nights at home to spend extra nights on beaches.
LOVE your everywhere yet something that people act like its no where. I'm watching this show and the woman and her husband havn't been intimate in 2 years, they are both miserable and all she does is cry!! WHY IS SHE WITH HIM??? She is 50 and afraid she won't find anyone else! WHOA! Lady your nuts and you will find someone eventually why be miserable? Why are you afraid of divorce. My generation marries and divorces as though the vow meant 5 years not till death do us part. My generation most people their parents got divorced but not their grandparents. My parents divorced THANK GOD! My parents love each other and are best friends. My mother's mother still loved my grandfather till the day he died even though he didn't treat her like a queen. Mi Tia Clara and mi Tio Ralphie are still together and happier then ever. Everytime I speak with them its as though they are newly weds. Then there is Mrs. Kalin <3 she has proven to show love as something that is ever lasting and as easy as making toast.
It saddens me to accept that Mr.Kalin has returned to god this week. I can't explain how empty it feels inside when you think about it. But it's a little easier knowing he was ready; and he lived a fullfilling life. Even if he was a cowboys fan ( yuck!) My dad always reminds me that as you get older you learn that you have it all. Mr. Kalin has a family that he created and they are all mini versions so there is no question that his legacy lives on. He will forever have us eating hot dogs and Len & joes pizza. NOT to mention we are all investing our money properly and don't worry I'll never pay $50 to park in NYC. He always said to keep climbing to the top of the corporate ladder and trust me I am working on it. Over the years he always took his time to listen to my work issues and guide me through them. He was always eager to hear about my travels or silly adventures. His tough old bird mind frame fit in perfect with my dad. Dad loved him and always talks about him. My mom feels like thats her father and well there is no describing the conversations him and his boys shared. But there is that damn word again LOVE and well it's no secret to the world how much Mrs.Kalin loves him and how devoted she was to him. I've written about her patience her ability to tend to him as though he was the only person in the room. But sometimes on these lonely friday nights I fall asleep thinking about how in 30 or 40 years Im going to smile that same smile to my husband ( if i ever find him). In a world where love is a word printed on tee shirts and billboards and people spell it LUV. It's sometimes hard to point out or figure out when it's the L-O-V-E kind. For me I don't question it I know what it feels like and what it looks like. I have had some amazing examples right in front of me. Besides love isn't just me loving a nice guy who wants to spend forever with me. Love is every Christimas Lyndsay and I raiding the cabinets for the snacks Mommy and Mrs. Kalin make us. Love is my dad coming to the house to see me even if he has a dizzy spell. Love is when Todd wipes moms forks clean and we all laugh cause we know he is going to do it. Love is when my brother tells me to shut up and listen. Love is when my mom hugs me so tight im gonna POP! Or when I'm leaving and i try to hug darryl and he tells me okay with the gay stuff. Love is when Wezzer eats ice cream with me on the couch till i fall asleep. and Love is defiantly when Jennuh shares the bed with me and my snoring.
At the end of the day I have more love and seen more examples in a weekend then people get in a life time. So sometimes on Friday nights I remember I don't need to be out on the scene surrounded by lames that I can look out my window and smile because I live in NYC and have an amazing view and a great job with awesome friends but above all I have a HUGE FAMILY that LOVES me and supports me. I also in turn try to do the same and support them and show them how much they all mean to me.
My heart goes out to Mrs. Kalin because I don't know the emotion she is feeling. I've had a broken heart for having loved the wrong one but never have i had the feeling she is feeling. But I know she can only smile for having been lucky enough in this world to have found a great man to share an amazing life with of patience,adventure,hard work and dedication in which they created amazing Children grandchildren and got some Puerto Rican all up in the family tree. Tonight I have no tears just memories of delightful moments passed and some day dreams of the memories to come. xoxox
LOVE your everywhere yet something that people act like its no where. I'm watching this show and the woman and her husband havn't been intimate in 2 years, they are both miserable and all she does is cry!! WHY IS SHE WITH HIM??? She is 50 and afraid she won't find anyone else! WHOA! Lady your nuts and you will find someone eventually why be miserable? Why are you afraid of divorce. My generation marries and divorces as though the vow meant 5 years not till death do us part. My generation most people their parents got divorced but not their grandparents. My parents divorced THANK GOD! My parents love each other and are best friends. My mother's mother still loved my grandfather till the day he died even though he didn't treat her like a queen. Mi Tia Clara and mi Tio Ralphie are still together and happier then ever. Everytime I speak with them its as though they are newly weds. Then there is Mrs. Kalin <3 she has proven to show love as something that is ever lasting and as easy as making toast.
It saddens me to accept that Mr.Kalin has returned to god this week. I can't explain how empty it feels inside when you think about it. But it's a little easier knowing he was ready; and he lived a fullfilling life. Even if he was a cowboys fan ( yuck!) My dad always reminds me that as you get older you learn that you have it all. Mr. Kalin has a family that he created and they are all mini versions so there is no question that his legacy lives on. He will forever have us eating hot dogs and Len & joes pizza. NOT to mention we are all investing our money properly and don't worry I'll never pay $50 to park in NYC. He always said to keep climbing to the top of the corporate ladder and trust me I am working on it. Over the years he always took his time to listen to my work issues and guide me through them. He was always eager to hear about my travels or silly adventures. His tough old bird mind frame fit in perfect with my dad. Dad loved him and always talks about him. My mom feels like thats her father and well there is no describing the conversations him and his boys shared. But there is that damn word again LOVE and well it's no secret to the world how much Mrs.Kalin loves him and how devoted she was to him. I've written about her patience her ability to tend to him as though he was the only person in the room. But sometimes on these lonely friday nights I fall asleep thinking about how in 30 or 40 years Im going to smile that same smile to my husband ( if i ever find him). In a world where love is a word printed on tee shirts and billboards and people spell it LUV. It's sometimes hard to point out or figure out when it's the L-O-V-E kind. For me I don't question it I know what it feels like and what it looks like. I have had some amazing examples right in front of me. Besides love isn't just me loving a nice guy who wants to spend forever with me. Love is every Christimas Lyndsay and I raiding the cabinets for the snacks Mommy and Mrs. Kalin make us. Love is my dad coming to the house to see me even if he has a dizzy spell. Love is when Todd wipes moms forks clean and we all laugh cause we know he is going to do it. Love is when my brother tells me to shut up and listen. Love is when my mom hugs me so tight im gonna POP! Or when I'm leaving and i try to hug darryl and he tells me okay with the gay stuff. Love is when Wezzer eats ice cream with me on the couch till i fall asleep. and Love is defiantly when Jennuh shares the bed with me and my snoring.
At the end of the day I have more love and seen more examples in a weekend then people get in a life time. So sometimes on Friday nights I remember I don't need to be out on the scene surrounded by lames that I can look out my window and smile because I live in NYC and have an amazing view and a great job with awesome friends but above all I have a HUGE FAMILY that LOVES me and supports me. I also in turn try to do the same and support them and show them how much they all mean to me.
My heart goes out to Mrs. Kalin because I don't know the emotion she is feeling. I've had a broken heart for having loved the wrong one but never have i had the feeling she is feeling. But I know she can only smile for having been lucky enough in this world to have found a great man to share an amazing life with of patience,adventure,hard work and dedication in which they created amazing Children grandchildren and got some Puerto Rican all up in the family tree. Tonight I have no tears just memories of delightful moments passed and some day dreams of the memories to come. xoxox
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
the cycle of life
I'm no longer an avid blogger as the twitter world and my journal now are home to my random and sparatic thoughts. But today right now my mind is racing beyond the 125 characters twitter gives you and my journal shouldn't be the only pages where todays thoughts end:
I want to stand on a mountain top and scream at god and ask him WHY?? No seriously why??? I am so confused in my old age by so many different things. Why are some girls so skinny and others fat... Why are some men raised gentleman and others not?? Why do some people get to enjoy life to the fullest and other spend it in struggle?? But above all why does life have to end?? My dad says its the cycle and the good lord givith and the the good lord take.
I'm 26 and until January the only heart ace I have ever felt is loosing a job, not getting accepted to the University of Tampa and over some stupid boys. But in January I experienced a whole new emotion when the lord took my Uncle back home. It was the first time I had lost anyone close to me and it was so impactful. It changed my family unit to add two more little brat blessings to my home. But it made me value the moments with them and my family even more. I call more I email more and i have even come to terms with things i never thought i would.
I want to stand on a mountain top and scream at god and ask him WHY?? No seriously why??? I am so confused in my old age by so many different things. Why are some girls so skinny and others fat... Why are some men raised gentleman and others not?? Why do some people get to enjoy life to the fullest and other spend it in struggle?? But above all why does life have to end?? My dad says its the cycle and the good lord givith and the the good lord take.
I'm 26 and until January the only heart ace I have ever felt is loosing a job, not getting accepted to the University of Tampa and over some stupid boys. But in January I experienced a whole new emotion when the lord took my Uncle back home. It was the first time I had lost anyone close to me and it was so impactful. It changed my family unit to add two more little brat blessings to my home. But it made me value the moments with them and my family even more. I call more I email more and i have even come to terms with things i never thought i would.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
It's magical and glistens the same way the sun glistens on ur skin covered in tanning oil on the beach . It's sparkles they way my eyes sparkle when I look at him . In facts it's as sweet and innocent as I feel around him. The fluffy texture and cold touch often compare to feelings as well. When the snow falls these days the city skips a beat. As the street are covered in the parklie powder everything shuts down. The mess that occurs simaltaniosly as it falls takes nothing Away from the magical feeling when it begins to deemed from the skies above. The element are a true wonder they are nearly unpredictable and even though often times we pray for their arrival we are more satisfied apon their departure. Mixed feelings seem to be whT I'm comprised of since 1 minute he fills me with joy but then I come back down to reality take a step back and remember it's like the snow fall cute in the start but no real drive to get going at the end
Great night great company and a nice walk home in the snow untouched
Great night great company and a nice walk home in the snow untouched
Friday, January 7, 2011
Good times
It's tough when u get so use to a certain lifestyle to get acclimated to something new. But what if the something new is ur dream?? My dream was to be here in NYC and to continue my path to success. My success path was always about work and bringing on the bacon to a family I assumed would just occur. Never in my timeline did I leave space to find mr right lol. I'm not "looking" now bit I wouldn't mind if he showed up soon . Single in new York is about as common as bagel trucks in the morning everywhere! But what keeps me okay with single in knowing I've got real friends whom I love being around so single ain't bad as long as u have alternative company
Sunday, January 2, 2011
It's crazy how emotions are uncontrollable and how intense you can feel. It doesn't matter if it's love toward someone or the way you feel about work or maybe just a situation. Emotions run right through you and some you can't even control. I can't help I love the way he smells and I can't help that his smile will always make me weak in the knees. Its an amazing feeling that a friend can hug your problems away. everytime I smell certain detergent it reminds me of brooklyn and puerto Rico . I can't even describe the warm and free sensation I feel when sunlight touches my skin. I hate the time of the month when water falls through my eyes. I do know I love when he calls me helenas :) I'm just a girl in the world filled with emotion and energy to share . My moms cupcakes me me smile and my dads laugh is contagious. I know I love the way the ocean meets the surface and how when the waves crash it's as though they drag your problems off to sea and u can be free. The nervous feeling I get around him and how I turn into a little school girl makes me Smh. At night I lay in bed and listen to the cars drive over the bridge and watch the sunset over NYC from my window. It's all so surreal to me that I'm here and this is my amazing life Im not a movie star or model and well a singing career wouldn't ever happen either. But my dreams to be surrounded by people I love has come true. Nope I'm not married and maybe he doesn't smile the same way when he sees me . But I have way more then 1 girl might get in a life time ! I'm successful have a huge!!! Amazing family I'm a dreamer and although I believe in fairy tales I know the reality. 2011 is all me baby and my emotions my wonderful feelings
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
true love
Christmas this year was great!My brother and I have grown to really enjoy the moments we get to spend together. My family has grown to be one solid unit after many years and it bring me great joy. But this Christmas i have again had my faith in true love reaffirmed.
Watching Darryl's parents over the holiday was a true act of love. As his father has grown increasingly ill his mother has been by his side for every moment and every beck and call. Taking care of an old man is no easy task to begin with. But as a fussy man grows older and more ill more patience are necessary.
The love in which she tends to him is nearly indescribable. Throughout the morning she had a joyful look as she made an individual breakfast for each person. She patiently awaited her husband to finish his and met every request he had. She then cleaned and gifted everyone. Her smiles lite up the room. But throughout the weekend she tended to his needs and moved slow with him. She sat with him she held him at all times she moved at his pace. She never once so much as lifted a brow or sighed heavy. Everything she did she did with love and it pleased her to assist the man she loves.
They did say for better or worse sick or poor till death do them part. They are living to the vows they promised and they have given another example of true love. Christmas was no special event she will continue these actions forever
Watching Darryl's parents over the holiday was a true act of love. As his father has grown increasingly ill his mother has been by his side for every moment and every beck and call. Taking care of an old man is no easy task to begin with. But as a fussy man grows older and more ill more patience are necessary.
The love in which she tends to him is nearly indescribable. Throughout the morning she had a joyful look as she made an individual breakfast for each person. She patiently awaited her husband to finish his and met every request he had. She then cleaned and gifted everyone. Her smiles lite up the room. But throughout the weekend she tended to his needs and moved slow with him. She sat with him she held him at all times she moved at his pace. She never once so much as lifted a brow or sighed heavy. Everything she did she did with love and it pleased her to assist the man she loves.
They did say for better or worse sick or poor till death do them part. They are living to the vows they promised and they have given another example of true love. Christmas was no special event she will continue these actions forever
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Why is it that we don't see the signs ??? Are we blind deaf dumb stupid or all of the above??? I mean IRS so bad at times we literally need to see it in writing it feels like . nothing like a kick me while I'm down to get the weekend started. Or why do we get drawn to people who don't want the same things???? Is it that they pretend they don't see it??? Or are we not as great as we amp each other to be??? Why does every friend tell me I'm amazing but them I loose some of my "best friends " or guys tell girls your what every guy wants soooo what the hell? It seems az though the answers to thes questions are as lost as the truth about the earths' development.
I just know I can't lie to the cruel cold world I wanna scream and shake him and jump up and down and let him know we could make things work if u gave it a chance; if I gave it a chance. But instead I will smile at you and pretend I know nothing about your relationship outside of our friendship! I will sit there and watch you be upset and know you would deserve better. I know I care about you and wouldn't ever want u to feel sadness or pain.
The question does remain though maybe it's not her jut maybe it's him. MAybe she shuns him and he's finally feeling hurt..... Ouch there are 2 sides and I'm only seeing 1 there is more to him then I get to see. My time with you isnt the whole you it's part. I love and adore our special bond but I wonder what's She got??? What did you do??? Until then I'm walking away I don't need a bigger sign then way hinge you be upset or sad or cranky. Those actions and emotions mean hour not with me so good night cold cruel world. Tomorrow is another day And today I followed the road signs
I just know I can't lie to the cruel cold world I wanna scream and shake him and jump up and down and let him know we could make things work if u gave it a chance; if I gave it a chance. But instead I will smile at you and pretend I know nothing about your relationship outside of our friendship! I will sit there and watch you be upset and know you would deserve better. I know I care about you and wouldn't ever want u to feel sadness or pain.
The question does remain though maybe it's not her jut maybe it's him. MAybe she shuns him and he's finally feeling hurt..... Ouch there are 2 sides and I'm only seeing 1 there is more to him then I get to see. My time with you isnt the whole you it's part. I love and adore our special bond but I wonder what's She got??? What did you do??? Until then I'm walking away I don't need a bigger sign then way hinge you be upset or sad or cranky. Those actions and emotions mean hour not with me so good night cold cruel world. Tomorrow is another day And today I followed the road signs
Sunday, October 17, 2010
sometimes i have to stop and pinch myself! I just never dreamed I would be so lucky in life. We always as children dream these big dreams of wants and needs like jobs and material objects but we don't often say when I grow up I wanna feel safe and secure.
Often times we take for grante the smiles and laughs we share but bitch and moan when sadness occurs. We are not always thankful for the positive but cant stop complaining at the nagative.
We all set different goals and wants in life and although not always 100% satisfied everyone around me has it pretty damn good. I know it because i have it amazing. I've loved my job here in NYC and made some really A+ friends. and my older friends havn't left me out to dry either. I just am smiling knowing i picked the best of the bunch and I enjoy my time laughing till i can't breathe, smiling so hard my face hurts and spending our last few pennies on each other. xoxox
Often times we take for grante the smiles and laughs we share but bitch and moan when sadness occurs. We are not always thankful for the positive but cant stop complaining at the nagative.
We all set different goals and wants in life and although not always 100% satisfied everyone around me has it pretty damn good. I know it because i have it amazing. I've loved my job here in NYC and made some really A+ friends. and my older friends havn't left me out to dry either. I just am smiling knowing i picked the best of the bunch and I enjoy my time laughing till i can't breathe, smiling so hard my face hurts and spending our last few pennies on each other. xoxox
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
hebron plantation
Once again adidas has proven to give me an experience I had not earlier imagined. I have been in Florence Kentuky for the last 7 days. living out of a suitcase rocking nothing but 3 stripes at the Hebron tent sale.
When I say we have been doing work I'm hoping that the emphasis of work really comes acorss. Our team of selected employees from across the country came together to put on a 3 days sale and gross over 1 million dollars. It was amazing totally amazing.
Tuesday we flew in ate dinner and introduced ourselves to our new adifamilia. Wed at 8:30 am in 50 degree weather we reported and began unloading 10 trucks worth of merchandise. Finally when Thursday night rolled around after 2 12 hour days we got it all together.
Friday morning people camped out from 4 am to shop the adidas bargains of sneakers, athletic apparel and smiles on kids faces were priceless. The people of Hebron love us and we have grown to love each other.
This company has proven to change people into the better by offering them different situations. I came in alone and ready to work I'm leaving tired well feed and with a few new vaction spots to visit my new friends. We eat like kings every day and night we laugh we joke we have drinks and swim together. As much as I have been dying to get back to NYC and be with my crew. I am going to miss my new adi-friends from HEEEbbronnnn
When I say we have been doing work I'm hoping that the emphasis of work really comes acorss. Our team of selected employees from across the country came together to put on a 3 days sale and gross over 1 million dollars. It was amazing totally amazing.
Tuesday we flew in ate dinner and introduced ourselves to our new adifamilia. Wed at 8:30 am in 50 degree weather we reported and began unloading 10 trucks worth of merchandise. Finally when Thursday night rolled around after 2 12 hour days we got it all together.
Friday morning people camped out from 4 am to shop the adidas bargains of sneakers, athletic apparel and smiles on kids faces were priceless. The people of Hebron love us and we have grown to love each other.
This company has proven to change people into the better by offering them different situations. I came in alone and ready to work I'm leaving tired well feed and with a few new vaction spots to visit my new friends. We eat like kings every day and night we laugh we joke we have drinks and swim together. As much as I have been dying to get back to NYC and be with my crew. I am going to miss my new adi-friends from HEEEbbronnnn
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
only female in my crew
I didn't plan it but i happened again the energy is crazy in adidas. i always felt like my Miami crew was so golden and they totally are nothing ever changed. People i meat there will be in my life forever.
But i totally have met some great people in my new store and we have a great vibe together. I've been lucky to share some great events stories and laughs with them. Even some tears.
But i totally have met some great people in my new store and we have a great vibe together. I've been lucky to share some great events stories and laughs with them. Even some tears.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Whoa I think my future arrived a little bit sooner then i thought it would. Career wise. I mean i might be jumping ahead of myself and i have worked really hard to get where I am but its moving fast. Not too fast but at a quicker pace then I expected so putting my mind to it and staying focused!
smiling that I am where I planned to be
smiling that I am where I planned to be
Sunday, September 19, 2010
WOW!!
So i am really just stuck today Rock and a hard place. I feel again as though my gold fish got flushed or my sunshine stolen. The act of another individual that is a friend has betrayed my trust. On a level i can't explain.
trust is a funny thing and when you loose it from someone the pain doesn't seem to subside easily
ignorance is bliss but the truth sets you free
situation by situation I've learned it always surfaces an i do great with the truth but never well with lies.
So i am really just stuck today Rock and a hard place. I feel again as though my gold fish got flushed or my sunshine stolen. The act of another individual that is a friend has betrayed my trust. On a level i can't explain.
trust is a funny thing and when you loose it from someone the pain doesn't seem to subside easily
ignorance is bliss but the truth sets you free
situation by situation I've learned it always surfaces an i do great with the truth but never well with lies.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
kicked in the nuts
I've had some pretty amazing friendships in my time! I'm always referring to some of them as besties and I'm lucky to have the amount of wonderful people around me that I do. Some ppl never get one Ive had lots of glamorous and unglamorous moments.
Sometimes I wish i could take back a few of the moments and make them a little more magical but then again the bad times make the good times even sweeter.
I just had tried to erase her I never imagine her popping up. I always hopped i'd walk into her in NYC i mean I work around the corner from her old or current job. I even take the bus to canarsie sometimes. Then when Jordana was suppose to bring her to my house i was speechless.
It wasn't till tonight till she popped up on my computer screen via facebook that she seemed closer then ever. She isn't dead she's just moved past me and well past us. I wish her nothing but the best and i know one day we will eventually speak and until then I guess i know she is alive and still fabulous from her pic.
Sometimes I wish i could take back a few of the moments and make them a little more magical but then again the bad times make the good times even sweeter.
I just had tried to erase her I never imagine her popping up. I always hopped i'd walk into her in NYC i mean I work around the corner from her old or current job. I even take the bus to canarsie sometimes. Then when Jordana was suppose to bring her to my house i was speechless.
It wasn't till tonight till she popped up on my computer screen via facebook that she seemed closer then ever. She isn't dead she's just moved past me and well past us. I wish her nothing but the best and i know one day we will eventually speak and until then I guess i know she is alive and still fabulous from her pic.
Friday, September 3, 2010
fridays
it was a long day at work my fairy godmother was in the building the pressure to perform was on but now it feels more natural then ever. I know what to do and I do it well. I enjoy learning from her its great. She feeds me knowledge when she isn't even trying
but tonight has been so relaxing I was tired but i walked i saved on the train.It is a swift 30 mins home it goes quickly. Friday night walking is an experience. I'm still rocking my 3 stripes but the mini dresses and heels are on the others. I did a quick grocery run for cupcake mix humus and chicken.
lunch is prepared for tomorrow cupcakes for my staff and for me a relaxing night enjoying sex & the city 2 ahhhht eh irony of sex in the city on an uneventful friday. I havn't stopped laughing i love this movie
but tonight has been so relaxing I was tired but i walked i saved on the train.It is a swift 30 mins home it goes quickly. Friday night walking is an experience. I'm still rocking my 3 stripes but the mini dresses and heels are on the others. I did a quick grocery run for cupcake mix humus and chicken.
lunch is prepared for tomorrow cupcakes for my staff and for me a relaxing night enjoying sex & the city 2 ahhhht eh irony of sex in the city on an uneventful friday. I havn't stopped laughing i love this movie
Sunday, August 29, 2010
windy pizza and stuffed dogs
the trip to the windy city was more then i expected. It was absolutly delightful. I really had no idea what to expect i just knew i was headed west to visit good friends in a far away land. Upon my arrival to this fabulous city I was fortunate enough to stay in their sick pad and enjoy home cooked meals. I have to say I am very proud of the bestie learning to use the kitchen so well.
Michigan Ave was amazing shopping and the building and arciture there it just takes you to a whole other place. Like warm and fuzzy. I just kept imagining it as this 1930's winter scene with snow flakes and a love affair. The city to me was uber romatic with its city life surrounded by nature. One moment you are shopping mid town next your on the BEACH> lake michigan although not your idea spot for a cool dip. kept its promise of water sand sun light and city views.
We dinned out for lunch one after noon and tasted some of the local brewed beers YUM! chicago is filled with bars bars and bars. yet its not so mixy the crowd. Everyone is so cauals jeans and flops land you entrance. I did indulge in french fries after 5 years. i figured hey i gotta live now!
the 2 hour 10 mile bike ride around the park, visiting the mirror bean and cruising the coast line in Erikas vintage bike was like fullfilling a fantasy dream i didn't know i had. We passed secret gardens, rode along the coast line looped past the football field and road with the cars. something i never planned on doing. There were no complaints from either her or I just smiles and laughter as two best friends explored the city without a car or a care in the world. We sharred lots of hugs and tears of course streamed down at both my entremnce and exit on the trip.
We ate chicago style pizza which was good but ill stick to my new york style. I don't want my chesse hidding anwhere. Put it where i can see it and its the first thing i taste! Well i suppose that summs up the windy city that was clear skies and perfect breezes. I see why Oprah and Erika both love it there. I will return again to visit but for now off to the next city!!! I see CALI in my near future!!!!
Michigan Ave was amazing shopping and the building and arciture there it just takes you to a whole other place. Like warm and fuzzy. I just kept imagining it as this 1930's winter scene with snow flakes and a love affair. The city to me was uber romatic with its city life surrounded by nature. One moment you are shopping mid town next your on the BEACH> lake michigan although not your idea spot for a cool dip. kept its promise of water sand sun light and city views.
We dinned out for lunch one after noon and tasted some of the local brewed beers YUM! chicago is filled with bars bars and bars. yet its not so mixy the crowd. Everyone is so cauals jeans and flops land you entrance. I did indulge in french fries after 5 years. i figured hey i gotta live now!
the 2 hour 10 mile bike ride around the park, visiting the mirror bean and cruising the coast line in Erikas vintage bike was like fullfilling a fantasy dream i didn't know i had. We passed secret gardens, rode along the coast line looped past the football field and road with the cars. something i never planned on doing. There were no complaints from either her or I just smiles and laughter as two best friends explored the city without a car or a care in the world. We sharred lots of hugs and tears of course streamed down at both my entremnce and exit on the trip.
We ate chicago style pizza which was good but ill stick to my new york style. I don't want my chesse hidding anwhere. Put it where i can see it and its the first thing i taste! Well i suppose that summs up the windy city that was clear skies and perfect breezes. I see why Oprah and Erika both love it there. I will return again to visit but for now off to the next city!!! I see CALI in my near future!!!!
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